Q: What was the last thing Kurt Cobain said to Courtney Love before he died?
A: “Holes gonna be big.”
Friend A: "Why are you still a virgin, bro?"
Friend B: "I was until last night."
Friend A: "Nah, nah, who with?"
Friend B: "Your sister."
Friend A: "I don't have a sister."
Friend B: "Just wait 9 months, you'll see."
Someone complimented me on my driving last week. They left a note saying, "Parking Fine!"
A girl with no arms and one leg goes to her mother and asks: "Mom, next year for the carnival, can I dress up as a princess?"
The mother replies: "Why? Didn't you like the ice lolly dress from last year?"
My name is Shelly Bobby... I don't know my last name.
When was the last time you saw yourself in the mirror?
I wonder if Kobe Bryant enjoyed his last flight
I'm such a good babysitter because the last person I babysat was so flat.
What is the last thing that goes through a suicide bomber's mind?
His arse.
Why don't we have female magicians?
'Cause the last ones got hanged.
Last night I shared a bed with two of my friends because we were in a small hotel. We had strange dreams last night.
My friend on the left dreamed of getting a handjob.
So did my friend on the right.
I had a dream of skiing.
Can you imagine what was the last thing that went through their brains?
The knee caps.
A man is on his deathbed in prison by electric chair.
The man who controls the chair asks for any last words.
The prisoner replies with: “Can you hold my hand?”
What would you like as your last meal?
Fried chicken. Extra crispy.
What did MLK Jr. say when he spent the night on the internet?
"Last night I had a meme."
Planes shouldn't have free Wi-Fi. Why? Because the last time they had free Wi-Fi, well here's what happened...
On September eleventh 2001, (children scream).
I put this joke so the amount of jokes will be 69. Also, I have 50 kids in my basement. I fed "Twinkies" last night.
I'll never forget my grandpa's last words:
"You need to park a little closer."
When I die, I'll let everyone I kept dear lower my coffin into the ground.
So they can let me down one last time.
I was in a wheelchair for a few weeks last month.
I went through a super traumatic experience, and I *wheely* hope I made a good *roll* model!
