A Mexican magician says he will disappear on the count of three. He says, "uno, dos..." and poof! He disappears without a tres.
What do you call a bulldog and a shih tzu? A bullshit.
Are you in the alphabet 'cause I wanna give you the D.
Why shouldn’t you call people in china?
Because there are so many wings and wongs you might wing the wong number
What do you call an elephant that doesn't matter?
An irrel-elephant ;)
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Robin.
Robin who?
Robin you, that is who.
What does a stick say when it falls down? "Wood you help me up?"
Q. You know what really bugs me?
A. Insect puns.
I tried out some puns to make people laugh, but no pun in ten did.
I was always told as a kid that I have to pick between being a programmer and an English teacher.
They said: you can't be a "pro-grammer nazi."
My mom said, "You are in big trouble!"
I said, "Are you going to punish me?"
Why did all the numbers laugh at 22? Because it had "tu tu's."
I'll stop with the horrible puns if you can say a good joke.
How do poets say hello?
Hey, haven’t we metaphor?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Alex.
Alex who?
Lalicks your balls.
Why are there 25 letters in the alphabet? Because the D is in U.
What type of alphabet does an elf learn?
The elf-abet.
What does "bitch" mean?
Son asked father, father said it means "you're handsome." Son said, "OK, you're a bitch." Father: "Of course not, I'm not a bitch!"
What kind of clothing should you wear on “hump day”? Camelflouge.
You know what pun is used for "waist?"
Nothing. You'll find nothing.
It's just a waste of time.
