Language jokes
I asked my French mate if he had a games console. He said, "Oui!"
Hello, are you there?
Yes, who are you?
My name is Watt.
What’s your name?
Watt’s my name.
Yes, what is your name?
My name is John Watt.
John What?
Yes, are you Jones?
No, I’m Knott.
Will you tell me your name?
Will Knott.
Why not?
My name is Knott.
Not what?
Not Watt, Knott!
*hangs up*
Wanna hear a long joke?
JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOKE!!!!!
What's a dead person's favorite sentence?
"I made it."
Teacher: Go through the ABCs in pre-school.
Me: Hey, teacher, omae wa mou shindeiru!
Teacher: NANI!?!?
Shoot.
Read this slow: I 1 2 4 Q?
I wrote "my pen is big," but forgot to space "pen is."
Read the next line.
Read the previous line.
Why was 9 afraid of 20?
Because 28, 29.
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Boo." "Boo who?" "Don't cry in front of me, or else I'll cry!"
When does Friday come before Thursday?
In the dictionary.
Why do we tell actors to break a leg?
Cause every play has a cast.
My cousin’s friend spelled “racist” wrong and when my cousin showed me, the first thing I said to my cousin’s friend is “Go to Grammarly. They REALLY teach you spelling.”
Bro, gay jokes aren't even funny.
Like...
"Cum on guys."
What did one cow say to the other? You are mootiful!
OK, OK, eat your shirt.
Knock knock!
Who is it?
Knock.
Knock who?
Knock you.
A friend was doing bird puns on me. Then I realized that toucan play at that game.
Americans: I will cook the pizza.
Italians: I cooka de pizza!