Language jokes
Did you see the dyslexic kid try to write down “funeral?”
No? Shame, it was real fun.
Q: I like elephants.
A: Everything else is irrelevant.
Do no doctor start with A and A+?
Q. You know what really bugs me?
A. Insect puns.
You cat to be kitten me right meow!
A friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns, but I soon realized that toucan play at that game.
What does a Chinese man say to his partner when having sex?
"Ching Chong Soc Mai Ding Dong"
What language do Gays speak?
HOMOGRAPHY maybe...
"Sir, we're mining too many useless mineral ores."
Hitler: "Mine less, then."
Grammar Nazi bursts in: "MINE FEWER!"
Hitler looks over: "Yes?"
What's only book rapeboat ever read? Rhyming dictionary, he got no rhymes without it.
A German soldier is walking down the street during a hail storm when a lady suddenly falls over after being hit. He, along with a few others, walk over to her. One man asks, "What happened?" and the soldier replies, "Hail hit her."
What do clams do on their birthday? They shell-brate, but they eat all the cake for themselves because they’re shellfish!
My puns drive people nuts; this is usually when I bolt away.
I called the Chinese takeaway yesterday. A man picked up the phone and said: "Hello! I am Wan Kin, the chef." I said that I'll come back later.
What did the skeleton say before dinner? "Bone appetit." His whole family found that humerus.
What comes next in the pattern: ottffs?
A man dies, and his friend is invited to his funeral.
This friend asks his wife, "Can I say a word?"
"Of course," she says.
The man stands up and says, "Plethora!"
The man's wife says, "Thanks, it means a lot!"
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 ate nine.
What do you call Nicholas and Dillon/Dennis?
GAY
The worst joke ever.
Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9.
Why was 9 thankful to 6? Because 6 8 7 2.