Language jokes
I would tell you a chemistry pun, but I won't get a reaction.
My friend was annoying me with bird puns. I realized toucan play at this game.
A dyslexic man walked into a bra.
"Immobile" means "I'm mobile" in my books.
A Mexican magician said he would disappear on the count of three. He said, "Uno, dos," and disappeared without a tres!
What did Saturday say on the day before Friday?
I’m thursty (Thursday).
What did one bear reply to his bad pun?
"Bear with me!"
There are 3 things wrong with this world.
1. Spelling
2. Maths.
What do you call a Mexican midget?
A paragraph, because he's not a full essay.
What is Jay?
Phat.
Person 1: "Hey, I created a new word!"
Person 2: "What is it?"
Person 1: "Plagiarism!"
Hey updog!
What's updog?
(Laughter)
Justin: Hey.
Josh: Hey man.
Justin: Why only "man"?
Josh: It feels weird saying the r a c e y names.
Justin: I don't mind.
Josh: Okay, S L A V E.
Justin: Oh no, not T H A T one!
"Tayam, I am."
"I asked my friend what his height is?" He answered, "I'm sans'sational!"
Yesterday I asked my friend, "What is a fish without eyes?"
They replied, "I don’t know."
I said, "Fsh."
What do you call a man with no body and no nose?
No Body Knows.
No body nose.
What do you call a man with no body and no nose?
Nobody knows. No body, nose.
Trying to make a baby talk is like trying to negotiate with North Korea.
I put the D in Children.