Language jokes

Yahahlmsyw.

That stand for:

You are has a whole, let me show you why.

What did the American say to the Russian?

"Why are you always Russian?"

You want to hear some marriage jokes?

Don't worry, it's just a couple.

I'm sorry for all the fish puns. I feel so GILL-ty.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7, 8, 9!!!

My friends say they don’t like my skeleton puns.

I should put a little more backbone into them.

You do not spell "computer" like this; you spell it like this: "cumputer."

What happens once every minute, twice every millennium, but never in a hundred years?

The letter M.

A is for apple, B is for dyslexia—oh wait, no! That’s D!

A man dies, and his friend is invited to his funeral.

This friend asks his wife, "Can I say a word?"

"Of course," she says.

The man stands up and says, "Plethora!"

The man's wife says, "Thanks, it means a lot!"

The past, present, and future walked into a bar. It was tense.

Hey! Some idiot drew a cat on this pillar! Wait... does that make it a caterpillar?

Fuck u!

I had a friend named Wemiyoe... We call him "we me you."

What's small, stupid, and has no dad?

Ben.

If Canadians speak "English Eh?", do Americans speak "English B?"

That was a horrible pun. You should be sent to the PUN-itentiary!

We have been cursed by curse-ive.

Hey, can you hold this for a second?

One day, in the Serengeti, a zebra started wondering if he was a white horse with black stripes, or a black horse with white stripes. So he goes around asking all the animals. He never gets his answer.

One fateful day, he dies and goes to Heaven. In Heaven, the zebra gets an idea. "I will go ask God!" So, he asks God, and God chuckles. "You are what you are!"

The zebra gets sad. He walks around and his dead zebra friend shows up. He asks, "What is wrong?" The zebra answers, "Well, I asked God if I was either a white horse with black stripes, or a black horse with white stripes. He just replied 'You are what you are!'"

His friend says, "Oh! You are a white horse with black stripes! Why? Because he would have said 'You is what you is!'"