Language jokes
Me: (Tim) What's wrong?
Him: Wha...
Me: Are you inTIMidated?
An American is lecturing a British person, saying things like "it's an elevator, not a lift" and "it's chips, not crisps" etc. After a while of this, the British person calmly retorted, "they're schools, not shooting ranges."
I was going to make a pun about math, but my answers never add up.
What language do they speak in the middle of the earth?
CORE-ean
A roman walks into a bar and holds up 2 fingers and says, "Five beers, please!"
How do you escape a French prison?
Yell angrily in German!
I had an animal pun contest today. He started off by saying something. I don’t remember.
Then I replied, “TOUCAN play that game.” He went silent, and my other friend barged in and said, “Don’t you think he’s CHICKENing out?” I said, “Yeah, just stop HORSING around!” He came back with one, and I ended it by saying, “Ok, let’s MOOOOOve on cow.”
Welp, that’s it.
You know buddy, that is really...
boroning.
Two scientists walk into a bar. One says, "I want h20." The other said, "I want h20, too." The second scientist died.
A man found out that he was going to die.
A German doctor comes in and says "you have 10 more". The man yells out "10 WHAT!! DAYS!!!! WEEKS!!!". And the doctor says "No seconds". And the man says "9 SECONDS!!!" And the doctor says "Nein. Ten seconds". He asked "How many seconds do I have to live 10, 9 , or...?"
Then he died and learned how to say no in German....
If a tree had a mouth, wood it bark?
I was really rooting to tell that one.
What does a French woman say when you ask her what her favorite video game is? "Oui, oui!"
What's the second to last letter in the alphabet? Y. Cause I wanted to know.
Why did the man yell at the other? To tell a pun.
Why is 69 annoying me? Oh, it's a tease.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Madam.
Madam who?
Madam foot got caught in the door, can you please open it!
Question: Do you know who Candis is?
Answer: Can dis dick fit in your mouth?
bröd
What brakes but never falls, and what falls but never brakes?
Answer: Night falls and dawn brakes.
Why don't cannibals eat clowns?
Because they taste funny.