Language jokes
"I’m sorry" and "I apologize" mean the same thing.
Except at a funeral.
Knock knock.
A joke.
U.
There's no "I" in team, but there is a "U" in cunt.
abcdef ghijklmnop qrstuv.
What did the panther say at the poker party?
I'd be lion if I said I was a cheetah.
I tried out some puns to make people laugh, but no pun in ten did.
Do you like doors?
Yes, because you are adoorable.
Déjà Moo: The feeling you've heard this bull before.
When is a door not a door?
When it’s ajar!
Asian without "As" is just sin.
"You're da bomb!" "No, you're da bomb!"
In America, a compliment. In the Middle East, an argument.
Q. You know what really bugs me?
A. Insect puns.
Who do you call to clean up foul language?
A cuss-todian!
I know people don’t really like cat puns, but mine are PURRety good.
Did you CATch that one? No? Because you are in a bad mood? You should WISKER those feelings away. We should PAWnder ways to fix your mood. Just remember to keep CLAWing at the problem. I am glad I can help MEW.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Water.
Water who?
Water you waiting for, just let me in!
Braille is not that hard to learn, you just got to have a feel for it.
What does a stick say when it falls down? "Wood you help me up?"
"Knock Knock..."
"Who's There?"
"Kenya"
"Kenya who?"
"KENYA OPEN THE DOOR IT'S FREEZING OUT HERE!!!!"
What do you call a dog that's faced backwards?
A god.
Why tie when you can knot?