Language jokes
Do you like doors?
Yes, because you are adoorable.
Déjà Moo: The feeling you've heard this bull before.
When is a door not a door?
When it’s ajar!
Asian without "As" is just sin.
"You're da bomb!" "No, you're da bomb!"
In America, a compliment. In the Middle East, an argument.
Q. You know what really bugs me?
A. Insect puns.
Who do you call to clean up foul language?
A cuss-todian!
I know people don’t really like cat puns, but mine are PURRety good.
Did you CATch that one? No? Because you are in a bad mood? You should WISKER those feelings away. We should PAWnder ways to fix your mood. Just remember to keep CLAWing at the problem. I am glad I can help MEW.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Water.
Water who?
Water you waiting for, just let me in!
Braille is not that hard to learn, you just got to have a feel for it.
What does a stick say when it falls down? "Wood you help me up?"
"Knock Knock..."
"Who's There?"
"Kenya"
"Kenya who?"
"KENYA OPEN THE DOOR IT'S FREEZING OUT HERE!!!!"
What do you call a dog that's faced backwards?
A god.
Why tie when you can knot?
Me: (Tim) What's wrong?
Him: Wha...
Me: Are you inTIMidated?
An American is lecturing a British person, saying things like "it's an elevator, not a lift" and "it's chips, not crisps" etc. After a while of this, the British person calmly retorted, "they're schools, not shooting ranges."
I was going to make a pun about math, but my answers never add up.
What language do they speak in the middle of the earth?
CORE-ean
A roman walks into a bar and holds up 2 fingers and says, "Five beers, please!"
How do you escape a French prison?
Yell angrily in German!