Let me tell you a pun. Never mind, it's tearable.
I would name my daughter Awesome so I can tell people that I'm fucking awesome.
I wanted to tell an animal joke but it's irrelephant.
If 2 vegetables have an argument, it's called beef.
I walked into a store, and I pointed a stick to the roof and said, "This is a stick up!"
Dick.
What do you call an Italian with an anesthetic?
Ruberto
A single sentence walks into a bar.
Knock knock. Who's there? Bear. Bear who? Bear bum!
What did the sushi say to the bee?
"Wasuuubi!"
"Herro, I cannot see my eyes."
What did the skeleton say before dinner? "Bone appetit." His whole family found that humerus.
What do you call a person with only one arm?
Half-assed.
What do you call a bitch? A dumbass, hahahahaha.
What do you call a bitch?
You call it a female dog.
What do you call a patronizing criminal walking down the stairs?
A condescending con descending.
Q: What do you call it when four Mexicans drown in quicksand?
A: Cuatro Cinco.
Why is 1026 afraid of 1028?
Because 1028 1029.
"BU" is the element of a surprise. Boo!
Puns, that's how I roll.
