Language jokes

I went to visit my friend's sick grandpa. He was lying in a hospital bed connected to a lot of tubes. When I approached him, he kept repeating "Nǐ cǎizhe wǒ de yǎngqì guǎn."

Suddenly, right in front of me, he passed. Later that night, I translated his last words, and they were, "You're standing on my oxygen tube."

Letter A lmao xd 😂😂😂😂

What's the difference between a black & a white fairy tale? White begins, "Once upon a time..." Black begins, "Y'all mutherfuckers ain't gonna believe this shit."

8008135 is my favorite number.

The worst ratio is 6:9.

And last but not least, "Why was six afraid of seven?" Seven eight nine. But why was six with nine? Because when you put them together, you get 69. But why was six mad at nine? Because Nine eight six, too.

Mankind is made of 2 words: Mank and ind.

Here’s my pun.

Yup literally nothing... jeez this was pretty plain.

I would say a good joke, but all the good ones Argon.

My wife's dyslexic, but hey, nobody's perfect.

Are you in the alphabet 'cause I wanna give you the D.

Cock cock, who's there? Nobody.

Q: What did Tim say when his girlfriend fell down a rabbit hole?

A: Hole-y shit!

A dyslexic guy walks into a bra!

You are all going to be pun-ished!

Knock knock. Who's there? Ligma. Ligma who? LIGMA BALLS!

Man says, "What's Ligma?"

Woman says, "Ligma balls!"

Baby says nothing, she transgender.

Knock knock! Who's there? Deja. Deja who? Knock knock!

Can I tell you a cat joke?

Yes, 'cause it's purr-fect.

I was going to write a joke about my penis, but it was too lång and overused.

I’m working on a good pun, but it makes no one laugh.

Why?

I don’t have a clue.

Why is the B so cool? Because it’s in between A and C.