Labor jokes

A woman having labor suddenly shouted, “Shouldn’t! Wouldn’t! Couldn’t! Didn’t! Can’t!”

“Don’t worry,” said Doc to the worried husband.

“Those are just contractions.”

I have some jokes about unemployed people, but none of them work.

What do a woman construction worker and a woman activist have in common?

They just stand there and hold the sign.

What does a construction worker say to another construction worker?

Screw you!

How many babies does it take to paint a house? It depends how hard you throw them.

How many electrical engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That is the electrician's job. I am a specialist.

How many software engineers?

Again, none. It's a hardware problem.

How many computer programmers to change a light bulb?

Two, but one resigns halfway through the project.

How many babies does it take to paint a wall?

I don't know, it depends on how hard you throw them.

What's a convict's favorite chore?

Weeding.

Dwarf Shortage.

When I'm cutting my grass, want to know what it reminds me of? My arms and legs.

On Christmas, Mexicans wake up in the morning, then take a nap.

Joking, I know they work hard. They run all the way to the border to decorate the barbed wire.

I regret my abortion.

I didn’t know child labor was an option.

Sans: Wow, seems you’re really working yourself... down to the bone!

How many kids does it take to paint a wall?

Depends on how hard you throw them. 😂😂😂😂

I seriously don't get why people in Alabama are angered that Mexican immigrants are taking their jobs. I mean, it's not like they are preventing your son from giving you a big, fat blow job.

A woman just went through labor. She asked the doctor, "Was it a healthy delivery?" The doctor replies, "It wasn't delivery, it's DiGiorno."

Men, get into the kitchen and make me a sandwich!

Women, go chop some lumber!

White people, get back into the cotton fields!

Digging stuff up is too hard.

I guess necrophilia isn’t for everybody.