Know jokes
Son, what is 1 plus 1?
Dad, I don't know.
Son, it is 2.
Dad, oh, I was gonna say 2.
Hi, I got fired. Oh, don't know which fire? Oh, the one that I got burned on, the volcano.
Do you know how to confuse Helen Keller?
Put her in a room and tell her to find the corner.
"Do you know the Annoying Orange?"
"Yeah, they elected him before Biden!"
"Cheesus" hates me, yeah, I know, 'cause he's a real douchelord fictional character.
Memes
Did you know
You know that I drink water, right? I drink water because I am water. Water is water.
"I was walking in the yard yesterday and a bug stepped on me. Why, you ask? Because the bug didn't know I was there."
My dad left for milk 4 hours ago, anyone know where he is?
Ooh! I know a joke!
(Papyrus) What is it?
(Sans) Knock knock!
(Papyrus) Uh... who's there?
(Sans) Sans
(Papyrus) Sans who?
(Sans) SANS IS LAZY!!!!! NOW PICK UP YOUR SOCKS BEFORE I SHOVE MY SPAGHETTI INTO YOUR MOUTH!
(Papyrus)
Why isn't there a ball pit at Taco Bell? Because it's hard to have fun knowing you might poop your pants.
How did they know that Princess Diana had dandruff?
They found her Head and Shoulders in the glove box.
Hey, stinks, you know why? 'Cause your butts dry!
What's the difference between Fortnite and PUBG?
I don't know.
I don't know why my boyfriend's dad doesn't like me. Maybe because we had sex?
Three guys are escaping from North Korea through a tunnel.
The guards know that they are coming and will shoot them with paintball guns as a warning.
The guys show up and the guards shoot them.
The guys die because the guards used real guns.
When your friend gets involved with someone, it affects the friendship. Whenever a friend of mine has a new girlfriend, we should say I looked like the person you used to know, but I've been modified to survive in this relationship. If we have an argument and she's there, I might disagree with you; I'd rather continue to see her naked.
Q. Why couldn't Terri Schiavo give good blow jobs?
A. She didn't know how to swallow.
A kindergarten teacher asks her students, "Do you know any words that start with P?"
Little Timmy responds with, "Elmo."
How do we know the Ancient Egyptians were into organized crime?
They were always using pyramid schemes!
I don't know why everyone cares so much about 3D printers. I've had a Canon printer for years.