Kill Jokes

My friends dad died during the 9/11 he was such a good pilot but my friend kept disturbing him so when hes dad died he said it was you who killed me(to the child).so the the child Sayed yoo-hoo?what type of name is yoo-hoo,but yoo-hoo yoo-hoo come here I need to k1ll you NOW

Two terrorists walk into a bar. The bartender asks what they are talking about. Terrorist 1 says “We are going to kill 14k people and a donkey” The Bartender asks “Why a donkey?” Then Terrorist 2 says “See, I told you no one would care about the 14k people.”

*God creates dog* God: "You are man's best friend"

Dog: "That's pretty sexist"

God: "No, man as in- You know what, FUCK IT! You can't speak"

Dog: "....."

God: "And chocolate kills you!"

Dog: "🐶"