Kids Jokes

Luca’s Mom and Dad be throwing the kids into the fountain in the city, but they're sea monsters, so if they went to jail for that, they would be on death row anyway. 🤣

D.A.R.E. Lion Mascot: Don't take drugs kids!

Me: My therapist says I need those to live.

D.A.R.E. Lion Mascot: _escorts to school counselor_

Have you met Bofa?

Bofa deez blind kids!

Why did the kid get grounded? Because he was always lion.

If the sun had a kid, it would be like father, like sun. 🤓 😎

A photo shows a doll that resembles an unborn baby next to text that reads: "If I was a girl, I would get pregnant as many times as possible, then have abortions after the third month of being pregnant so I would deliver a potato sized 1/3 developed dead fetus, then I would take the fetus, put it in a jar of preservative liquid and put it on a shelf in a secret room in my house, and I would do it until I had so many the rooms walls were nothing but potato sized aborted fetuses. Then I would have a kid and when they're bad I would make them sit in the fetus room and remind them of how easy I could have aborted their ass."

Why does the emo kid skip class?

There was a kid sitting in a corner.

Me: "Hey! Why are you here at an orphanage?"

Orphan: "..."

Me: "Oh, wait, you're an orphan."

A priest and a rabbi were hanging out at a playground. The priest waves to a kid to come over and tells the rabbi, "Let's screw this kid."

The rabbi looks confused and asks, "Out of what?"

How do emo kids compliment each other? They say, "I like your cuts, G!"

What do you call a kid who sings well?

Melodic Minor.

What do blind kids and orphans have in common?

Neither of them can see their parents.

How does an emo kid compliment one another?

Like your cuts, G.

What animal jumps the highest?

An emo kid, some of them are still up there.

I was at the park the other day and sat down on the bench next to a mum and her daughter, and she asked which one was my kid, and I said I haven't decided yet.

Where's is the candy, sir???

Over there.

(kid steps in van)

I don't see any candy.

What do you call a kid in a wheelchair on fire?

Hot Wheels.

There was a kid and a historian in a museum about WW2 and were looking at Hitler in a car doing the Nazi salute. The kid said, “Why is he putting his arm in the air?” The historian said, “Indicators on cars didn’t exist back then so he’s probably saying take the Third Reich!”