Kids jokes

Kid singing “abcd.”

Person says, “No, no, it’s obcd.”

Me going to the principal's after telling the kid with a wheelchair to stand up for himself.

I know everything about Walt Disney! How he died, how his mom and dad died, how his kids died, when he was born, where he was born, and how he was born. 😏

Why do blind kids like plane crashes?

Because you can’t dislike what you have never seen.

A priest and a rabbi were hanging out at a playground. The priest waves to a kid to come over and tells the rabbi, "Let's screw this kid."

The rabbi looks confused and asks, "Out of what?"

Are you a school? 'Cause I wanna shoot kids in you.

What am I gonna do on the 5th anniversary of the Parkland shooting?

Shoot a load in you just like I shot those kids ;)

What does the dumb kid say to the blind kid?

"Long time no see!"

What do you call a kid who sings well?

Melodic Minor.

There was a kid and a historian in a museum about WW2 and were looking at Hitler in a car doing the Nazi salute. The kid said, “Why is he putting his arm in the air?” The historian said, “Indicators on cars didn’t exist back then so he’s probably saying take the Third Reich!”

What do blind kids and orphans have in common?

Neither of them can see their parents.

How do emo kids compliment each other? They say, "I like your cuts, G!"

What do you call a kid in a wheelchair on fire?

Hot Wheels.

I told an emo kid that we were going to hang (hangout), but they took it too literal.

What does the school shooter do after he shoots a victim? He shoots more kids in them!

Why is there a middle school?

Because the kids that go there are middle class families.

"Addison, are you one of those kids who are very, very, very, very smart? Because you sound like one."

I saw a little kid cry. I went up to him and asked where his parents were. Jeez, I love working at the orphanage!

What is the difference between a tall kid and an orphan? One is tall enough that their parents can see them.

Two kids told their parents they saw a man late at night entering their house on Christmas night.

The day later, they found out several houses were robbed.