Kids jokes
What do me and an emo kid have in common:
We both like to hang.
What do you call a kid who sings well?
Melodic Minor.
What do blind kids and orphans have in common?
Neither of them can see their parents.
I saw a kid sitting on the side and asked if he was an orphan, “what gave me away?” “Well, your parents, for a start.”
Why was the rapper always late?
Because he had to drop his kids off at the Rhyme Bus.
What did the parent say to M.J.?
"Get off my kid!"
Stacy: Honey, I'm kinda new to texting, what does lol mean?
Justin: I'm not sure, "lots of love," I guess.
Margaret: Stacy, are you there? I don't know if you heard, but Amber and her three kids were killed in a car crash this morning. I'm in total shock!
Stacy: lol
What did the tree say to the depressed kid?
"Stop hanging around."
Why is the gay kid gay?
Because he likes men.
What am I gonna do on the 5th anniversary of the Parkland shooting?
Shoot a load in you just like I shot those kids ;)
Me going to the principal's after telling the kid with a wheelchair to stand up for himself.
Why did the sped kid get expelled?
Because he was tardy.
Kid singing “abcd.”
Person says, “No, no, it’s obcd.”
I'm 5'6", and my mom is 5'1" and 1/2. She always says she's going to get a suicide vest and fill it with bricks and squish me. I tell her good luck.
And when she tries to hug me, she says, "You're too fucking tall, kid," so I usually reply with "Go get a stool then."
What do you get when you mix LSD and birth control? A trip without kids.
The short kid came earlier than I thought. Guess he came with such short notice.
What's a pedo's favorite snack?
Sour Patch Kids.
Are you a school? 'Cause I wanna shoot kids in you.
A priest and a rabbi were hanging out at a playground. The priest waves to a kid to come over and tells the rabbi, "Let's screw this kid."
The rabbi looks confused and asks, "Out of what?"
I saw a kid crying. I asked him where his parents were. God, I love working at the orphanage!