Kids jokes
What animal jumps the highest?
An emo kid, some of them are still up there.
A priest and a rabbi were hanging out at a playground. The priest waves to a kid to come over and tells the rabbi, "Let's screw this kid."
The rabbi looks confused and asks, "Out of what?"
There was a kid and a historian in a museum about WW2 and were looking at Hitler in a car doing the Nazi salute. The kid said, “Why is he putting his arm in the air?” The historian said, “Indicators on cars didn’t exist back then so he’s probably saying take the Third Reich!”
What do blind kids and orphans have in common?
Neither of them can see their parents.
What do you call a kid in a wheelchair on fire?
Hot Wheels.
I told an emo kid that we were going to hang (hangout), but they took it too literal.
What does the school shooter do after he shoots a victim? He shoots more kids in them!
Are you a school? 'Cause I wanna shoot kids in you.
What does the dumb kid say to the blind kid?
"Long time no see!"
What do you call a kid who sings well?
Melodic Minor.
I told a crying kid to wipe his tears and come back smiling.
He never came back the next day, says the local news.
I threw a kid in a wheelchair into a fire... I called him hot wheels.
What did one emo kid say to the other? "Nice cuts, G!" (because they like to cut themselves).
Me: Where's your mom?
Kid: [cries]
Me: [leaving from the adoption center]
Kid at Wish: I wish I could be Batman.
Doctor: Okay, shoots mum and dad. Doctor: I guess now you’ll have to be gay, you wanted to be like Batman.
Hi! It's the kid with another dark joke! On this episode: Orphans!
Dad: Are you gay?
Kid: Yes.
10 days later.
Kid: I’m going to my girlfriend's house.
Dad: I thought you were gay?
Kid: What’s wrong with you? He’s the girly girl of our relationship, dumba**.
Dad: Don’t swear and okay, bud.
Why did the kid get grounded? Because he was always lion.
A kid decided to burn his house down.
His dad watched, tears in his eyes. He put his arm around the mom and said, "That's arson."
I was cussing out this kid for stealing, and their mom walked in and said, "Hey, language!" I just said, "English, bitch!"