Kids jokes

Kid finds genie lamp, wishes to be Batman.

Genie: You're now an orphan.

Some kid: Hey, did you know there's an orphanage down the street?!

Me: NO WAY! Wanna check it out?

Kid: NO, IT'S HAUNTED!!

Me: Haunted my ass, let's go!

Kid: Wait, isn't your house also haunted???

Me: Yea

Some weird kid came into school today with his tagging gun. He tagged my friend really good. At the end, he tagged 12 students and 1 teacher. VICTORY ROAYAL ✌

Kid 1: Do you know Candace?

Kid 2: Candace who?

Kid 1: Candace dick fit in your mouth!

So a kid was hanging out with his mom and this man comes up to him and said, "Hi, I'm your new dad." The kid did not think about it, and then he did and said, "But I already have a dad." The mom said, "That was not your real dad."

"Ugly kid, I feel ugly."

"Me? You don't have feel ugly, you already ugly."

Met the emo kid today; he was pretty chill; he was just hanging out.

What's the difference between a normal kid and an emo kid?

I told a crying kid to wipe his tears and come back smiling.

He never came back the next day, says the local news.

I threw a kid in a wheelchair into a fire... I called him hot wheels.

What did one emo kid say to the other? "Nice guts, G!"

What did one emo kid say to the other? "Nice cuts, G!" (because they like to cut themselves).

How does an emo kid compliment one another?

Like your cuts, G.

What falls first, an apple or an Emo kid?

An apple, because the Emo has a rope holding them.

Where's is the candy, sir???

Over there.

(kid steps in van)

I don't see any candy.

What do you call a gay kid on fire?

Knock knock. Who's there? Colin! Colin who? Colonisation!

Just kidding, colonisers don't knock before they come in.

What do you call a group of emo kids? Suicide squad.

I was at the park the other day and sat down on the bench next to a mum and her daughter, and she asked which one was my kid, and I said I haven't decided yet.

What animal jumps the highest?

An emo kid, some of them are still up there.