Kids jokes
Friend: Hi.
Me: Do you know how lost their dad is?
Friend: Me?
Me: Damn, no, not you.
Friend: Then who?
Me: The orphan kid.
I guess we're the same.
Kid: Hey, Mum, why are we pushing the car off the cliff?
Mum: Shut up, son, you’ll wake your father!
What do you call a kid in a wheelchair on fire?
Hot Wheels.
What does the school shooter do after he shoots a victim? He shoots more kids in them!
How do emo kids compliment each other? They say, "I like your cuts, G!"
How does an emo kid compliment one another?
Like your cuts, G.
Where's is the candy, sir???
Over there.
(kid steps in van)
I don't see any candy.
What animal jumps the highest?
An emo kid, some of them are still up there.
I told an emo kid that we were going to hang (hangout), but they took it too literal.
I was at the park the other day and sat down on the bench next to a mum and her daughter, and she asked which one was my kid, and I said I haven't decided yet.
What falls first, an apple or an Emo kid?
An apple, because the Emo has a rope holding them.
There was a kid and a historian in a museum about WW2 and were looking at Hitler in a car doing the Nazi salute. The kid said, “Why is he putting his arm in the air?” The historian said, “Indicators on cars didn’t exist back then so he’s probably saying take the Third Reich!”
Kid: I got homework.
Mom: Ok, so?
Kid: I got a F in my balls.
What's braver than coming out gay? Taking a shit in an elementary school bathroom with those two kids that always mess with you and turn off the lights.
Me: Where's your mom?
Kid: [cries]
Me: [leaving from the adoption center]
Don't ever try to give an emo kid a high five. They'll just leave you hanging.
Hi! It's the kid with another dark joke! On this episode: Orphans!
Orphanage kid: You’re ugly!
Kid with mother: Your mom!
Kid at Wish: I wish I could be Batman.
Doctor: Okay, shoots mum and dad. Doctor: I guess now you’ll have to be gay, you wanted to be like Batman.
The emo kid tried to give me a handshake. Sadly, I left him hanging.