Kids jokes

1 like = 1 kid in the bed with me.

What do blind kids and orphans have in common? Neither of them can see their parents.

Two kids were beating up a kid in an alley, so I stepped in to help. He didn’t stand a chance against the three of us.

Kids in the backseat make accidents, and accidents in the back seat make kids.

So sad when the emo kid tried to give a high five to a tree.

Too bad he left him hanging.

I kicked a soccer ball at the kid in the wheelchair. Now we're playing Rocket League.

I saw a little kid crying yesterday, so I asked him where his parents were. God, I love working at an orphanage.

What has 50 legs but can't walk?

25 disabled kids.

New Teacher: "I was an orphan as a kid."

Students: "OOF!"

Teacher: "Is anyone missing?"

Students: "Your parents!"

Taking an emo kid grocery shopping does have its perks... You get to scan their wrists for discounts!

I got detention yesterday because I told the emo kid to "Hang in there."

What's yellow and can't swim?

A bus full of children.

I'm going to hang myself in the bathroom at school and put a note telling kids that I'm a piñata.

What's a depressed kid's favorite holiday?.... Christmas because everything is hanging.

What's the benefit of taking a depressed kid to the store?

Scan the wrist and you might get a discount.

What do you call a disabled kid with a gun?

Special forces.

Why did the emo kid get kicked out of the amusement park?

He kept cutting in line.

One day, I saw a kid sitting on the curb dressed in rags. I asked if he was an orphan. He said, "Yeah, what gave me away?" I said, "His parents."

Aunt: Stop telling the kids Santa isn't real.

Me: Stop telling them their dad is going to get milk.

How do parents punish their blind kids?

They re-arrange the furniture.