Kids jokes

1 like = 1 kid in the bed with me.

What do blind kids and orphans have in common? Neither of them can see their parents.

Two kids were beating up a kid in an alley, so I stepped in to help. He didn’t stand a chance against the three of us.

So sad when the emo kid tried to give a high five to a tree.

Too bad he left him hanging.

Kids in the backseat make accidents, and accidents in the back seat make kids.

I kicked a soccer ball at the kid in the wheelchair. Now we're playing Rocket League.

I saw a little kid crying yesterday, so I asked him where his parents were. God, I love working at an orphanage.

I got detention yesterday because I told the emo kid to "Hang in there."

New Teacher: "I was an orphan as a kid."

Students: "OOF!"

Teacher: "Is anyone missing?"

Students: "Your parents!"

What has 50 legs but can't walk?

25 disabled kids.

Taking an emo kid grocery shopping does have its perks... You get to scan their wrists for discounts!

What's yellow and can't swim?

A bus full of children.

What do you call a disabled kid with a gun?

Special forces.

I'm going to hang myself in the bathroom at school and put a note telling kids that I'm a piñata.

Why did the emo kid get kicked out of the amusement park?

He kept cutting in line.

What's a depressed kid's favorite holiday?.... Christmas because everything is hanging.

What's the benefit of taking a depressed kid to the store?

Scan the wrist and you might get a discount.

One day, I saw a kid sitting on the curb dressed in rags. I asked if he was an orphan. He said, "Yeah, what gave me away?" I said, "His parents."

Aunt: Stop telling the kids Santa isn't real.

Me: Stop telling them their dad is going to get milk.

How do parents punish their blind kids?

They re-arrange the furniture.