Kids jokes

What's the difference between an emo kid and an onion?

You cry when you cut an onion.

The school shooter: "I finally found you worthless crybabies!!"

The Quiet Kid: "How are a bag of chips and a mac11 the same?"

The school shooter: "I don't know."

The Quiet kid: "When you pull them out everybody wants to be your friend."

What did Michael Jackson say to the kid on his lap?

"There's a great singer inside of you."

It's April Fools' Day. I'm gonna go to the orphanage and tell kids, "Their parents are here to pick them up."

What hit the ground first, a feather or the emo kid?

The feather, because the emo kid was left hanging.

One day I told a kid what 2 x 12 was. He said he didn't know. I said let's go to my basement and figure it out. He is still in my basement trying to do the equation.

What did one emo kid say to the other?

"I like ya cut, G."

All of you guys in this orphanage are ABCDEFGHIJK.

What's that? said the orphans.

Attractive, brilliant, cute, darling, elegant, funny, gorgeous, and hot.

What's the IJK?

I'm just kidding! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

What did the depressed kid do in P.E.? They played with the jump rope, but they used it the wrong way.

So here’s this funny story, and it’s true.

So my mom has this friend. When this guy was a kid, he was on the school bus, and this Mexican kid checked him into the aisle, so he hits him across the face with a metal lunchbox, and he started bleeding. Then they both get banned from the bus for a few days, so him and his dad drive to the Mexican kids house, and his dad says to the Mexican kids dad “if your kid ever picks on my kid again, I’m gonna come back to this house and kick your ass!”

If a man kills a kid, it's called Murder.

If a woman kills a kid, it's called Reproductive Rights.

What does the school shooter do after he shoots a victim? He shoots more kids in them!

Teacher: What's 55 flowers plus 67 flowers?

Kid: A garden?

Teacher: Did I tell you that you're adopted?

Are you a school? Because I want to shoot a bunch of kids in you.

Using Pi, distract that fat kid next to you and copy his answers.

Steven Hawking walks into a bar... no, I'm just kidding.

What has 4 legs and 1 arm? A pitbull dog coming back from the kids playground.

A kid asks his dad why his name is Experience. The dad says, "That's what we give our mistakes."

What does one emo kid say to the other?

"I like your cuts, G."

An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.