Kids jokes

Kid

Ugly kid, people keep saying I'm ugly.

Me: They're certainly not wrong.

Kid

"Addison, are you one of those kids who are very, very, very, very smart? Because you sound like one."

Orphanage

I saw a little kid cry. I went up to him and asked where his parents were. Jeez, I love working at the orphanage!

Memes

Bathroom

What's braver than coming out gay? Taking a shit in an elementary school bathroom with those two kids that always mess with you and turn off the lights.

Girlfriend

My girlfriend told me that she wonders what our kids will look like.

No, they will be wondering what I look like.

Orphan

Me: Where's your mom?

Kid: [cries]

Me: [leaving from the adoption center]

Language

I was cussing out this kid for stealing, and their mom walked in and said, "Hey, language!" I just said, "English, bitch!"

Emo kid

Don't ever try to give an emo kid a high five. They'll just leave you hanging.

Batman

Kid at Wish: I wish I could be Batman.

Doctor: Okay, shoots mum and dad. Doctor: I guess now you’ll have to be gay, you wanted to be like Batman.

Relationship

Dad: Are you gay?

Kid: Yes.

10 days later.

Kid: I’m going to my girlfriend's house.

Dad: I thought you were gay?

Kid: What’s wrong with you? He’s the girly girl of our relationship, dumba**.

Dad: Don’t swear and okay, bud.

Kid

I saw one kid in a game. He went, "I love you, tree!" He was dumb as cant tell, sorry.

Kid

What do you call an emo kid standing outside the mall?

Anything, he'll cry no matter what you say.