Kids jokes

A kid and his dad went to the park. The kid accidentally steps on a cockroach.

They go home immediately and dad gets the scissors. Now the kid has some balls to play with.

If the teacher tells you to stand up if you're not gay and there's that one kid in the wheelchair.

What's the best thing about being a pedophile? You can choose the fit profession where you find kids most.

A girl was going through some really bad health issues at her house. It got so bad that she had to be rushed to the hospital.

Her husband found out about this after work and went to check on her. When he got there, the desk lady immediately pointed down the hall to a doctor. The guy walked up to the doctor, "Are you the one taking care of my wife?" The doctor glanced away from his papers, "Yes, that would be me, but I am afraid that she is in very bad condition. I have bad news and good news. The bad news is that she will have to be wheeled around in a wheelchair. Also, she can't eat normally. Taking care of her will become very hard. Basically, it will be like taking care of a big baby." Shocked, the guy says, "Wait, if that's the bad news, than what is the good news?" The doctor goes, "I'm just kidding with you, she died!"

How do pedophiles get kids to suck their d**k?

They spray paint it like candy 🍬.

We wrote letters to a kid with cancer.

My letter read, "It's a bumpy road, but soon you will have a straight path."

People didn't realize it was meant for his heart monitor. Lol.

What did the kid with Parkinson's drink for breakfast?

Milkshake.

What do you call a kid that's in the fire? Hot Wheels.

Why do orphans hate smart kids?

Because the smart kids get their parents' attention.

This kid yelled "Jenga" when we were watching a 9/11 documentary.

When the school shooter makes the emo kid hang himself and the autistic kid thinks it's a piñata: 🤪🏏

What is a group of depressed kids called? They are called the "Suicide Squad."

How do you keep a blind kid entertained?

You take him to a stadium crowd, then give him a bat and tell him to hit the piñata.

What do you call a school bus with 30 kids?

A killstreak.

What's something the same about a depressed kid and a hanger? They both like to hang.

Kid: You're so fat!

Other kid: At least fat can be changed, but your ugly face can't be.

What's yellow and can't swim but screams when it goes under?

A school bus full of kids.

"It never gets old."

"Just like a sick kid!"

How [does] a disabled kid face [the] Jalalas?

He can't run, just hug the bomb.

A kid asks his mom what dark humor is.

She says, “You see that man with no arms, tell him to clap.”

“But mom, I’m blind!” says the kid.

“Exactly,” replied the mom.