Kids jokes
Why is Michael Jackson on the naughty list this year?
Because he sexually kids 😂
Why did the pedo stop to help the little kids cross the street?
To get them in his van.
My disabled dad went to the grocery store.
He got lost and yet they couldn’t find him.
Finally, he was found after a kid told them he was in the vegetable aisle.
Two gay kids made their version of the Jack and Jill nursery rhyme.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pair of lattes.
A kid in the back of the class just yelled “Jenga!”
The class was watching a 9/11 documentary.
that one cool kid in your class
A disabled kid kept throwing up in class.
So I threw him out the window!
Me: punching a kid.
My FBI agent: You're adopted.
At weddings, old people tell kids, "You're next!"
At funerals, little kids tell old people, "You're next!"
I bet you're a child molester who got out of jail and is now sexually harassing kids such as Addison! Will fuck off and get a life, btw your roasts are not fucking funny, they're bullshit like your face and your hairline.
If the teacher tells you to stand up if you're not gay and there's that one kid in the wheelchair.
Make a wish kid: I want to meet Mac Miller.
Make a wish staff: You will soon, chief.
Hate me all you want, but I rather love bullying in all fairness. I love to watch all the loner kids being abused while simultaneously making a prediction for when which one of them will finally snap and shoot up the school.
What's the best thing about being a pedophile? You can choose the fit profession where you find kids most.
A girl was going through some really bad health issues at her house. It got so bad that she had to be rushed to the hospital.
Her husband found out about this after work and went to check on her. When he got there, the desk lady immediately pointed down the hall to a doctor. The guy walked up to the doctor, "Are you the one taking care of my wife?" The doctor glanced away from his papers, "Yes, that would be me, but I am afraid that she is in very bad condition. I have bad news and good news. The bad news is that she will have to be wheeled around in a wheelchair. Also, she can't eat normally. Taking care of her will become very hard. Basically, it will be like taking care of a big baby." Shocked, the guy says, "Wait, if that's the bad news, than what is the good news?" The doctor goes, "I'm just kidding with you, she died!"
We wrote letters to a kid with cancer.
My letter read, "It's a bumpy road, but soon you will have a straight path."
People didn't realize it was meant for his heart monitor. Lol.
What did the kid with Parkinson's drink for breakfast?
Milkshake.
A kid asks his mom what dark humor is.
She says, “You see that man with no arms, tell him to clap.”
“But mom, I’m blind!” says the kid.
“Exactly,” replied the mom.
In middle school, we had to create words with magnet letters. Some kid laid the word "Animal Therapist". I changed one space and got sent home :/
What do Michael Jackson and an Xbox have in common?
They both get turned on by kids.
What is a show for kids?
Barney.