Kids jokes

A girl was going through some really bad health issues at her house. It got so bad that she had to be rushed to the hospital.

Her husband found out about this after work and went to check on her. When he got there, the desk lady immediately pointed down the hall to a doctor. The guy walked up to the doctor, "Are you the one taking care of my wife?" The doctor glanced away from his papers, "Yes, that would be me, but I am afraid that she is in very bad condition. I have bad news and good news. The bad news is that she will have to be wheeled around in a wheelchair. Also, she can't eat normally. Taking care of her will become very hard. Basically, it will be like taking care of a big baby." Shocked, the guy says, "Wait, if that's the bad news, than what is the good news?" The doctor goes, "I'm just kidding with you, she died!"

What did the kid with Parkinson's drink for breakfast?

Milkshake.

We wrote letters to a kid with cancer.

My letter read, "It's a bumpy road, but soon you will have a straight path."

People didn't realize it was meant for his heart monitor. Lol.

A kid asks his mom what dark humor is.

She says, “You see that man with no arms, tell him to clap.”

“But mom, I’m blind!” says the kid.

“Exactly,” replied the mom.

What do Michael Jackson and an Xbox have in common?

They both get turned on by kids.

What do you call a kid that's in the fire? Hot Wheels.

This kid yelled "Jenga" when we were watching a 9/11 documentary.

Why do orphans hate smart kids?

Because the smart kids get their parents' attention.

What is a show for kids?

Barney.

Why did the kids love the mushrooms?

Because they're fun-guys!

What do you call a school bus with 30 kids?

A killstreak.

Kid: You're so fat!

Other kid: At least fat can be changed, but your ugly face can't be.

What's something the same about a depressed kid and a hanger? They both like to hang.

What is a group of depressed kids called? They are called the "Suicide Squad."

"It never gets old."

"Just like a sick kid!"

What's yellow and can't swim but screams when it goes under?

A school bus full of kids.

How [does] a disabled kid face [the] Jalalas?

He can't run, just hug the bomb.

A kid asks for an ice cream. The man says, "Any sauce?" and the kid says, "Na, I got ketchup at home."

My friend Richard is always bullying all the little kids in the neighborhood. He is such a dick.

What do you call a kid with no arms or legs?

Names......