Kids jokes
I was watching a documentary about how storks carry babies from their previous life to the next.
In his old life, Michael Jackson must’ve been a teddy bear. The storks let him play with kids for a change.
What does an abortion joke and a fetus have in common... The joke never gets old, and neither does the kid.
How do you get a discount off groceries?
Scan the emo kid's wrists.
Why do emo kids wear hoodies?
They hang easier.
What is the perfect job for a pedophile?
A physical doctor for kids.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana.
Jack got high, touched Jill's thigh, and said, "I know you wanna."
But silly Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a kid.
Why did the autistic kid walk across a busy road?
He was chasing his mind and got hit by a car.
What did the dad say to the kid?
Nothing, he went to get the milk.
What is the difference between a normal kid and an orphan?
A normal kid has a family.
What does Michael Jackson and an Xbox have in common?
Kids turn them on.
The emo kid went for a high five. People say he's still hanging.
Why can’t Santa have kids?
He only cums once a year.
Why is Biden a priest?
So kids call him father.
What do kids call a balanced meal?
A hamburger in each hand! XD XD XD XD
Do you know what you call a bunch of depressed kids?
"Suicide Squad!"
Me: Stops the quiet kid from getting bullied.
Him: Don't come to school tomorrow, trust me.
Me: "/"
So a kid asks his dad, "Why was I born?"
The dad replies, "I thought that girl was dead!"
I will call my kid Monday, because whenever I see him, I feel disappointment.
How would Steven Hawking's mom punish him as a kid?
Power off his chair.
What's yellow and can't swim?
A school bus full of kids drowning.