Kids jokes
I can't imagine him moaning with the kids, "Hi, uh, ya daddy, uh HEE!"
What did the blind deaf kid get for Christmas? Cancer.
What does an emo kid and an apple have in common?
They both are hanging.
Why is Michael Jackson on the naughty list this year?
Because he sexually kids 😂
What's the difference Michael Jackson and a play station have in common...
They're both plastic and kids turn them on.
Memes
There's a kid with loads of new firemen equipment and sees a fire engine go past and the kid asks the firemen, "Come have a look at my new gear." So the firemen go look at his gear, so then the kid says:
"I've got a helmet, a big jacket, and an oxygen tank, and a little wheelbarrow for my gear."
Firemen say: "Why is there a rope tied around a cat's balls?"
The kid says, "So I can have a siren nnnnnnnnnnneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwweeeeeeeeeeennnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn"
What is the most annoying thing your parents say to you, and what is the dumbest thing someone can say that annoys you?
The most annoying thing your parents can say: "Finish your dinner, there are starving kids in Africa!" No, you can't have any dessert until you finish your dinner. (See how annoying that is!)
The dumbest thing someone can say that annoys you: "Why is your name Crayla? Why is your last name Goldburg? Is it like a gold bird!" (That is really annoying if you ask me!)
Thanks for reading this...bye!
How do pedophiles get kids to suck their d**k?
They spray paint it like candy 🍬.
Billy and Bobby were walking to school one day. Billy pulled out an mp3 player.
"What's that?" Bobby inquired.
"Oh, just something to zone out the other kids," Billy responded.
The next day, Billy and Bobby were walking to school. Billy rummaged through his backpack and pulled out an mp4 player this time.
"Woah! What's that?" Bobby inquired.
"Oh, just a lil something to shut out the annoying kids at school," Billy responded.
The next day, Bobby noticed Billy's backpack was particularly heavy looking. Billy rummaged through his backpack just outside the school and pulled out an mp5 rifle.
"Holy shit, dude! What the fuck is that for?" Bobby gasped.
"Nice huh? This'll shut those fuckers up for good!" Billy replied.
A day in the life of a Biden voter.
$2000 stimulus check? Nah, $1400...some day.
No more kids in cages? Nah, more kids in cages.
$15 minimum wage? Nah, $11. Maybe.
50k loan forgiveness? Nah. Lol.
No more deportations? Nah, they're still leaving.
Women's rights? Nah, dudes in women's sports.
New COVID bill? Nah, mostly bailouts and pet projects.
Cheap insulin? Nah, jack those prices up.
Defeat fascism? Nah, barbed wire fences around DC.
Dad: I get to touch animals every day at the zoo.
Kid: Why?
Dad: I clean up animal s*** at the zoo.
When a stranger keeps telling kids to kill themselves AKA the Stigg.
Why did the blind kid drop his ice cream? He got run over by his mom.
Kid: But, Mom, I don't want to go to the movies.
Mom: SHUT YOUR MOUTH AND CLEAN MY ROOM! YOU DON'T HAVE A CHOICE!
Watching "50 Shades of Grey" was more painful than my uncle fisting me as a kid.
A bully walks up to a kid named Billy to insult him and steal his lunch money.
Later that night when he is at home, the bully’s father comes into his room to insult him and take the lunch money he stole.
The father walks down stair to check on his father in the living room. When he walks in, his father insults him and takes the lunch money.
The grandfather of the bully walks into the back yard and in the dark is Billy. The grandfather walks up to him and says “Where’s my money, you worthless old fart?”
Why did the kid who was blind, in jail, need light to see? He didn't, he needed to braille his way out.
My disabled dad went to the grocery store.
He got lost and yet they couldn’t find him.
Finally, he was found after a kid told them he was in the vegetable aisle.
Why did the pedo stop to help the little kids cross the street?
To get them in his van.
At weddings, old people tell kids, "You're next!"
At funerals, little kids tell old people, "You're next!"