Kid jokes
Why did Michael Jackson name his kid Blanket?
What would you call a cover for your cock?
What's something the same about a depressed kid and a hanger? They both like to hang.
There's a new Michael Jackson biopic in the works. There is a possibility that we will know who his love interest was.
What we know so far: Billie Jean is not his lover, and that kid [seen with him] is not his son. We also know that Michael Jackson said that sharing his bed with little boys is "healing" and an act of "sharing the love," so take that as you will.
Stephen Hawking walked in a bar...
Just kidding.
Three nuns went up to Mother Teresa and said, "Mother Teresa, we would not like to be nuns anymore." Mother Teresa said, "Okay, but first you have to do something unholy." So they leave and come back three days later. The first one says, "Mother Teresa, I did something unholy. I took a little kid's bike." Mother Teresa says, "Okay, drink from the holy water and you are free to go." The second nun walks up, upset, "I did something worse than her. I slept with a married man." The last nun walks up and says, "I did something worse than all of them." Mother Teresa says, "Oh god, oh gosh, what is it?" And the third nun says, "I peed in the holy water."
So I saw a 15 year old kid near a 15 year old girl checking her out.
Then I told him, "What are you doing?"
He told me he will decorate her locker, donate a lot of money to her, and buy her a lot of stuff.
He then told me how easy would that be?
I told him: "That sounds pretty SIMPle."
Go to an orphanage and tell a kid his parents came back.
What animal can jump the highest?
Emo kids because once they go up they never come back.
What's a deaf kid's favorite words?
"Shut up."
Why do so many kids love boomerangs? Because they always come back.
I went to jail because I gave the orphan kid a calendar with 363 days.
(I deleted Mother's Day and Father's Day.)
+1 like = 1 kid in my basement.
+1 follower = 1 kid in my Microwave.
+1 Comet.
What do you do when you see a kid alone? You beat them up and say, "It was self-defense!"
I saw a depressed kid and I gave him a lamp to lighten up his day.
What do you call a kid having a seizure on a dance floor? An improvement.
What did the kid with no hands get for Christmas? Gloves!
Just kidding, he hasn’t opened it yet.
What do a Make-A-Wish kid and mosquitoes have in common?
They both got a 10% survival rate...
Four kids at my school tried suicide and failed. They are now known as the Suicide Squad.
What did the orphan get for Christmas? Nothing, because his parents ran away.
Double whammy. Orphan jokes are like a kid with cancer; it never gets old. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣👌👌👌👌👌
What does an autistic kid and a porn video have in common? You can shoot both of them, just not in public.