Kid

Kid jokes

Pussy

Little Johnny brings his cat to school, and then the teacher asked him why. Little Johnny says, "Because I heard my dad tell my mom I'm going to eat that pussy up when the kids leave!"

Orphanage

I saw a kid crying in the corner of the room and I said, "Are you OK? Where are your parents?" and he started crying even more.

I love working in an orphanage.

School

Sadly, blind jokes are cruel. A kid at my school was punched the other day for being blind.

Sadly, he didn't see it coming.

Hospital

*in the hospital*

Paralyzed kid: I'm out!

*walks out the room*

Blind kid: You can walk?!

Mute kid: You can see?!

Deaf kid: You can talk?!

Doctor: Wut the f**k?

Discount

Taking an emo kid grocery shopping does have its perks.

You get to scan their wrists for discounts!

Orphan

I went up to a kid and asked, "Are you an orphan?" They said, "Yes, what gave me away?" I said, "Your parents."

Glass

This guy in a trench coat walks up to a kid, opens the trench coat and has glasses inside.

He says to the kid, “Hey kid, want some extra-see?”

Abortion

When a woman decides to abort, it is called a decision, but when I run my truck into a playground of kids, it is called murder.

Batman

Kid: I want to be Batman.

Okay, when he gets home, his parents are dead.

Cancer

Why didn't the kid cancer patients like his joke?

He said, "You'll understand when you get older!"

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  • Terrorism

    What do parents feeding their kids and terrorists have in common?

    “Here comes the airplane!”

    Emo

    Q: How do you make an emo kid happy?

    A: Give them a Happy Meal.

    Emo kid

    What’s the difference between a leaf and an emo kid falling out of a tree? The leaf reaches the ground.

    Moment

    That awkward moment when a fat kid says, “That’s how I roll.”