Kid jokes

Why do American guns only have 30 bullets?

'Cause that's how many kids are in a class.

When the quiet kid lost a game of basketball and reaches into his bag,

other people in the gym: "Oh shit this nigga bout to shoot."

I was an orphan as a kid, and I'm pretty sure my favorite thing was seeing parents with their kids.

I think we know why.

Which one fell first?

The depressed kid or the feather? Look at 1st comment to see answer.

What do Priests and School shooters have in common?

They both blast little kids in the face.

The sun is out, and the pedo vans are out.

Parents, keep your kids away from ice cream vans. Once they hear the sound, you'll never see your kids again!

Random kid: Yo mama so stupid that she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl.

Orphan: What's a mama?

Random kid: *shook*

My mom said she wanted to be a comedian when she grows up. So after she was an adult, she had kids. When they were old enough, she told them you could be whatever you want...

What do starving kids call Venetian blinds?

Bunk beds.

I eat kids.

One day, little Johnny was playing with his toys and looked out the window. He saw the neighbor's kid laying face-first in the grass, not breathing.

Little Johnny continued to shoot his nerf gun at the neighbor's big booty cheeks. No movement at all. After little Johnny went to get a snack, he looked out the window again and the kid was gone.

Little Johnny went to the neighbors and said, "I'm sorry to hear that your child has gone missing."

What does a bullied kid say during a game of Kahoot?

"I'd like to Kahoot up this school."

I saw a kid crying in the corner of the room and I said, "Are you OK? Where are your parents?" and he started crying even more.

I love working in an orphanage.

Are you a school? Because I want to shoot kids inside you.

Little Johnny brings his cat to school, and then the teacher asked him why. Little Johnny says, "Because I heard my dad tell my mom I'm going to eat that pussy up when the kids leave!"

What’s the difference between an emo kid and a dead pig?

Suicide squad.

Welcome to Dave's orphanage. You make 'em, we take 'em!

Sadly, blind jokes are cruel. A kid at my school was punched the other day for being blind.

Sadly, he didn't see it coming.

Kid: I have the corona virus!

Nurse: Here is an ice pack.

Taking an emo kid grocery shopping does have its perks.

You get to scan their wrists for discounts!