Kid Jokes

Kid: "Hey dad, what's dark humor?"

Dad: "Go walk up to that homeless guy and throw a rock at him."

Kid: "But dad, I don't have any legs or arms."

Dad: "Exactly, son."

A kid has an older brother that’s a very popular lifeguard. He sees all of the people that talk to his brother, but he’s fairly ignored. So one day he asks his brother why everyone likes him so much. His older brother says, “Well, all you gotta do is stick a potato in your pocket.” So the next day the boy goes back to the pool and he has a potato in his pocket, but everyone is avoiding him even more now. At the end of the day he goes up to his brother and asks why it didn’t work, and his brother says, “Dumbass, you were supposed to put it in the front!”

What did the kids say hi to? A slide.

They say I’m sliced like the apples in a kids meal.

if a toy from Toy Story died, the kid wouldn't know, and the other toys would just have to watch as their kid played with the corpse.

I know where you live.

The image is split into three sections. The top section shows a silhouette of a couple kissing at sunset and the caption reads "KIDS HAVE CRUSHES". The middle section shows a photo of a couple embracing and smiling and the caption reads "MEN HAVE GIRLFRIENDS". The bottom section shows a close up of a blacked-out Mario with glowing eyes, and the caption reads "I HAVE YOUR IP ADDRESS".

Kids are like a box of chocolates, they taste so good and you never know what you are going to get.

I say 1, 2, 3, all the kids bullied me, but now they're not so cool, cuz I shot up the school.

What's the difference between a shooter and a bullied autistic kid? It depends on who's shooting.

Kid: "Mom, what happened to Jim?"

Mom: "He got inside a white van."

Him: *slowly drives past elementary school while looking at kids*

Her: Why are you staring at those kids? *jokingly* Are you like a pedophile or something?

Him: ... At least you know why I love calling you "baby" now~

Boy, your momma so ugly she’s denied from the homeless parties in the dumpster.

Quiet kid, your momma so funny she made a joke pop out her a*s.

Your mama is so fat that when she wears yellow, kids run after her thinking they missed the school bus.

Why do trees never call emo kids?

The emos always hang up on them.

I hope ya'll that have depression kys; you are worthless trash.

Just kidding.

Mom: I was an orphan once. The kid: Oh, ok, idgaf. Mom: And you're gonna be too! :) The kid: Ok, idgaf- WAIT WHAT THE FU-

I told a seal a joke, it went like this: "Why did the kid cross the playground?" He said, "Why?" I said, "To get to the other slide." And then he said, "That's the sealiest thing I've ever heard!"