Kid jokes

I feel bad for the kids at Sandy Hook. All they wanted was books, but got magazines instead.

I made this up.

I was watching a school baseball game, and I was yelling at a kid to take it home. He took the bat and threw it, and then ran away. I asked the teacher/coach what the problem was, and he said the kid was an orphan, and I started laughing so hard.

Later that night, I wondered where he stormed off to after he threw the bat, and I thought to myself, "Not home."

What do you call a kid in a wheelchair with a gun? RG-XD

Fat kids are so fat, they have their own gravitational pull.

I tried kidnapping a kid today and told him I was his dad's friend and I would take him home. He just curled up into a ball and started crying. Kidnapping must be easy.

Why is Hugh's mum so fucking fat?

Because she ate the 34 other kids she had but now only has 6,789.

You get a deep voice, you shit talk to 5 year olds.

What did the blind kid say after receiving a cheese grater for Christmas?

"This is the most violent book I’ve ever read."

I pushed a kid in a wheelchair and said, "Hot Wheels!"

When the school shooter starts doing Fortnite dances and the autistic kid joins in.

I told a disabled kid to get in my van. Well, it’s been two years, and he still hasn’t gotten into the van.

A man saw a kid on the road, and the man asked: "Where are your parents?" The boy: "..." The man left the adoption center.

High school students are also more interesting to see, but they are you on your way. Just kidding! 🤣

Why is Mrs. Grapes 🍇 a good mother?

Because she loves raisin' kids.

Why did the pirate kids ride the short bus to school?

Because they were retarrrrrrrrrded.

Why do kids have school every day? So that they can learn.

What is the most annoying thing your parents say to you, and what is the dumbest thing someone can say that annoys you?

The most annoying thing your parents can say: "Finish your dinner, there are starving kids in Africa!" No, you can't have any dessert until you finish your dinner. (See how annoying that is!)

The dumbest thing someone can say that annoys you: "Why is your name Crayla? Why is your last name Goldburg? Is it like a gold bird!" (That is really annoying if you ask me!)

Thanks for reading this...bye!

Two boys were playing cards on a picnic table outside the school. Both of the boys had revolvers hidden in their waistband.

Now, one of the boys was a notorious cheater, who liked to hide his cards in his waistband. Recess was just about to end, when all the kids heard a loud bang erupt from the picnic table. In tears, the card player admitted that he had shot the other card player, stating "I played a King, and he started reaching for his waistband!"

*School Shooter Walks In*

That one kid who plays "Pumped Up Kicks" at max volume.

What's an emo black kid called? A dark Drakie.