Kid jokes
What did the kid without hands get for Christmas? - I don't know, he still didn't open his present...
What’s the difference between an apple and a depressed kid? The apple falls from the tree.
Q. What's the difference between a normal kid and an emo kid? A. One has a functioning neck.
What do pedophiles and a SpongeBob intro have in common?
Are you ready kids?
A robber held up a depressed kid at gun point.
The depressed kid took the gun, and said, "I'll do it myself."
What did the mentally retarded kid get on his test?
Drool.
When an emo kid jumps out of a tree, what happens when he hits the ground?
Nothin' much, he just flops over an hour later when they untie the rope.
What do Michael Jackson and math have in common? They are both hard for kids.
What do Michael Jackson and Santa Claus have in common?
They both leave the little kids' room with empty sacks.
1 like = 1 kid in my oven. I'm trying to get followers and comments, please.
what do you get when you play a country song backwards? you get your wife, your house, and your kids back.
So, I was raping this girl the other night, and she said, "Please just think of my kids!" I was like, "What a freak."
A white dad, a priest, and a rabbi all run out a burning school, and the dad says, “What about the kids?” and the rabbi replies to him saying, “Fuck the kids,” and the priest says, “Think we got enough time?”
What do you call a kid with Down syndrome who plays basketball?
Dribble.
When you go to an orphanage for a field trip: When the workers said, "I remember you as a kid."
When the school shooter is just about to leave your classroom, and you think you're in the clear, but the Down syndrome kid says, "Goodbye."
What do you call a terrorist in a kids' swimming pool?
A bath bomb.
What do you call an epileptic kid eating fruits?
A blender.
One time, the quiet kid hacked the speakers in a school. Next thing you know, "Pumped Up Kicks" by Foster The People starts playing.
"What’s your name, son?" the principal asked his student. The kid replied, “D-d-d-dav-dav-david, sir.” "Do you have a stutter?" the principal asked. The student answered, “No sir, my dad has a stutter but the guy who registered my name was a real jerk.”