Kid Jokes

I was driving and accidentally hit a crippled kid, they were still breathing so I told them to walk it off.

During a discussion at Sunday school, a nun asks the children what they think God takes you by when you die. A kid responds, "I think God takes you by your feet, because once I walked into my parents room and my mom's feet were in the air and she was screaming, "Oh God, I'm coming!!!"

What do kids and drugs have in common , I sell both of the

what did the pedophile say to the kid. "roses are red ,my name is dan ,i have a gun get in the van"

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

Why cant a kid with adhd shoot a gun? Their focus is always off.

Kid: "Hey, are you an orphan?" Friend: "Yeah, but you are too." Kid: "At least my parents wanted me."

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

why dont Chinese kids celebrate Christmas?

Bc They make the toys

Why did the kid drop his icecream?

He got hit by a bus.

I was at a funeral for some kids in a school shooting. I don’t understand why everyone was so sad, so I asked a lady, what’s so sad and she said “What do you think was running through these kid’s head before they died”. I replied “probably a bullet”, she gasped and said “do you have any idea how insensitive that is, what do you think is running through their parent’s heads”, I said " probably all the money their losing from this funeral".

What do apples and depressed kids have in common?They both hang on trees.

i got in trouble in school for leaving the depressed kid hanging

Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one – and let the other one off

A Blonde was down on her luck. In order to raise some money, she decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom. She went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and told him, "I`ve kidnapped you." She then wrote a note saying, "I`ve kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and put it under the pecan tree next to the slide on the north side of the playground. Signed, Blonde." The Blonde then taped the note to the kid`s shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents. The next morning the blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the pecan tree. The blonde opened the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, "How could you do this to a fellow Blonde?"

Why is that kid walking like that?, Oh, he's an alter boy

Remember kids if ur ever mad beat up an orphan what are they gonna do call their mom??

Today I gave a blind kid a gun and told him it was a hair dryer. The police thought it was suicide since I have no fingerprints, wow I’m so nice taking care of the disabled