Kid Jokes

Police arrested two kids yesterday. One was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one, and let the other one off.

What do apples and depressed kids have in common?

They both hang on trees.

A blonde was down on her luck. In order to raise some money, she decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom.

She went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and told him, "I've kidnapped you."

She then wrote a note saying, "I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and put it under the pecan tree next to the slide on the north side of the playground. Signed, Blonde."

The blonde then taped the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents.

The next morning the blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the pecan tree. The blonde opened the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, "How could you do this to a fellow Blonde?"

Remember kids if ur ever mad beat up an orphan what are they gonna do call their mom??

Why is that kid walking like that? Oh, he's an alter boy.

What does a roller coaster and Michael Jackson have in common?

Kids ride for free.

Today, I gave a blind kid a gun and told him it was a hair dryer. The police thought it was suicide since I have no fingerprints. Wow, I’m so nice taking care of the disabled.

The depressed kid at school tried giving the tree a high five.

It left him hanging.

Teacher: "I'm sorry, but you got a 74 on the test."

Quiet Kid: "I'll show you my own 74."

Classroom: *visible panic*

When you forget the pinata at the birthday party. The kids: "Aww man." But the emo kid just hung himself. Kids: "Yaaaaayyy." Parents: "Adjust, improvise, overcome, that is the way."

I went to go hang out with the emo kids, but they already did.

What’s a depressed kid's favorite game? Hangman.

what did the suicidal kid say to the tree?

don't leave me hanging.

How does a disabled kid walk to school?

He wishes he had the facilities to.

My teacher: If you could go anywhere, where would you go?

Me: Demon Slayer.

My teacher: Why?

The quiet kid: TO GET EATEN BY A DEMON OR BECOME ONE!!!

A few kids were talking about how big their houses were. Kids were pointing to huge houses and huge apartments. One little boy said, "Bet I have the biggest home." To everyone's surprise, he pointed right towards the massive orphanage.

That poor kid, he was fine until I bought him a mother's day card for his mum. The second he saw it, he burst out crying...

When the quiet kid has an argument with the school shooter, and you didn't get to pull out the AK.

What do you call a kid in a wheelchair coming out of a building on fire? Hot wheels.

I asked a kid at my work where his parents were. He started crying. Man, I don't know what I did. I'll ask another kid at the orphanage.