Kid jokes
If a kid does not go to sleep during nap time, isn't he resisting a rest?
What do you call a kid who sings well?
Melodic Minor.
What do you call a kid laying down in the classroom? Kill confirmed.
What do you call three kids laying down in the classroom? Kill streak.
Steven Hawking walks into a bar... no, I'm just kidding.
Why did Rolf Harris meet underage kids?
To tie his kangaroo down, sport!
A kid asks his father, "How long is our trip, Dad?"
The kid's father says, "Our trip is a Fortnite."
What do you call an emo kid with light-up shoes? A human chandelier.
Yo, so poor that you wash your paper plates and cutlery in a kids' dishwasher.
Why do blind kids like plane crashes?
Because you can’t dislike what you have never seen.
What do you call a bunch of autistic kids in a box?
A toolbox.
What does broccoli and sex have in common?
If you were forced to have it as a kid, you’re gonna hate it as an adult.
Pro tip kids, you CAN hit an orphan because they can't cry to their parents!
What do you call a kid in a wheelchair?
TIMMAHHHH!
"I'm the big man, catching the kids in my big van." - Ben 2021
The dark side of kid songs:
You got a friend in me... you got a friend in me!
There was a kid in my class who said my face looked like a physical reaction (we were learning about that stuff at the time), so I said I made a chemical reaction with his mom last night.
Me: "You wanna see my dad?"
Some kid: "Yeah?"
Me: "Close your eyes and he will appear."
Some kid: "He ain't appearing."
Me: "Sorry I thought he would appear for you. He won't appear for me."
*The kid laughs*
Moral: Not everything is supposed to be funny text if you notice what was really going on. 🙃
So, we are in class right, and the teacher has a metal leg. Every year she gets the question of, "Do metal detectors beep every time you walk by them?" She heard this question to the point where she just says yes without hesitation.
Once she had said yes, two kids in the back started laughing.
Teacher: Ok alright, take it a little bit more seriously would you?
Kid: Oh, we're not laughing at that.
Kid_2: We're laughing at cancer.
The African kids' theme song is "Staying Alive."
Bro, I gave a suicidal kid Nikes... he just did it, lol.