Kid jokes

The Cheerio Joke

Let's say you're in high school, and your popularity level was based on what Cheerio you are. So there's Extra-Frosty Cheerios as the most popular kids, the frosted Cheerios were the popular kids, the Regular Cheerios as the typical normal kid, then there's the honey nut Cheerios as the nerds and geeks, and then there's your Cheerio which is the Chocolate Cheerios. Now you want to ask this girl who's an extra frosty, you go up to her and ask her to Homecoming, but she declines.

So after school gets out, you go home and rewind. The next day you wake up feeling like a honey nut Cheerio, so you go up to her again and ask her again, she still says no. So you go home and rewind again and wake up the next morning feeling like a Regular Cheerio. So you go to school and ask her again, she still declines. So you go home and rewind again. The next morning, you wake up feeling like a frosty Cheerio. So you go up to her and ask again, still says no. Then you go home and unwind. The next day you wake up feeling like an extra frosty Cheerio. Feeling doubtful, you go up to her one last time and ask her. She finally says yes.

The next day is Homecoming, and you and your date are on the dance floor, and she wants punch. So she tells you that she's going to go get punch. She goes and gets punch and is back in 30 seconds. You ask her why it was so fast. She replies with; "Oh there wasn't a punch line."

What did the pedophile say when he got out of prison?

I feel like a kid again.

Kid: Hey, Mum, why are we pushing the car off the cliff?

Mum: Shut up, son, you’ll wake your father!

I think someone left trash at the doorstep. Oh, wait, it's your parents dropping you off at the kid's store.

What's the worst part about hearing a special needs kid getting hit by a car?

Having to listen to the wheelchair scraping for a mile and a half.

I met a kid at the park. He was holding a picture of his parents in his hands. They had died on 9/11.

So, I went to comfort him. I said, "Hey, I lost my grandpa on 9/11. He was great. At flying a plane."

What do you call an annoying emo kid? A nuisance.

What do you call an autistic kid with a gun? Special forces.

How do terrorists feed their kids?

"Here comes the airplane, and here comes the second one."

I'd like to have kids one day.

I don't think I could stand them any longer than that, though.

So I was at high school one day in the bathrooms, and I'm circumcised, and the kid next to me wasn't, so he showed me his pp, and he had a foreskin, so I was just playing with it until the teacher walked in, then I got fired...

Which one fell first, the Emo Kid or the apple?

The apple, because the rope caught the kid.

What famous book writer for kids loved insects?

Beatrix Potter.

Why was the rapper always late?

Because he had to drop his kids off at the Rhyme Bus.

Why can't fat kids change a tire?

They would eat the donut.

I gave a blind kid a gun and told him it was a hairdryer.

Why is the gay kid gay?

Because he likes men.

There was a kid named Buttitches, and his teacher was taking attendance. Then the teacher asked, "What is your name?" And he answered, "Buttitches." Then the teacher asked again, "What's your name?" and he replied, "Buttitches." Then a student yelled out, "JUST SCRATCH YOUR ASS ALREADY!"

What is similar between a ton of kids and some boxes?

Both of those are commonly found in basements.

Orphans and Chinese people can’t play baseball. The orphans can’t find home, and the Chinese kid will eat the bat.