Kid jokes
Why don't catholic kids lose their virginity in their 20's?
Because they lost it to a priest when they were 5
The depressed kid at school tried giving the tree a high five.
It left him hanging.
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they all sit in the dark and cry.
To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked tacos. Then I made pizza because they don’t live in a swing state.
You’re not completely useless. You can always be used as a bad example.
I think my family is racist.
I brought a black girl home, and my wife went crazy and told me to pack my bags, and my kids were upset.
I asked a kid at my work where his parents were. He started crying. Man, I don't know what I did. I'll ask another kid at the orphanage.
What has eight legs and leaves kids alone? The Jackson 4.
What’s a kid with Down syndrome's favorite candy... Grunts.
I went to go hang out with the emo kids, but they already did.
When you forget the pinata at the birthday party. The kids: "Aww man." But the emo kid just hung himself. Kids: "Yaaaaayyy." Parents: "Adjust, improvise, overcome, that is the way."
A few kids were talking about how big their houses were. Kids were pointing to huge houses and huge apartments. One little boy said, "Bet I have the biggest home." To everyone's surprise, he pointed right towards the massive orphanage.
My teacher: If you could go anywhere, where would you go?
Me: Demon Slayer.
My teacher: Why?
The quiet kid: TO GET EATEN BY A DEMON OR BECOME ONE!!!
If you were driving when all of a sudden a young kid and an old man run right in front of you, what do you hit?
The brakes, you sick bastard.
What do Kurt Cobain and an emo kid have in common?
They both smell like "Teen Spirit."
what did the suicidal kid say to the tree?
don't leave me hanging.
What’s a depressed kid's favorite game? Hangman.
That poor kid, he was fine until I bought him a mother's day card for his mum. The second he saw it, he burst out crying...
When the quiet kid has an argument with the school shooter, and you didn't get to pull out the AK.
What do you call a kid in a wheelchair coming out of a building on fire? Hot wheels.
What's a pedophile's favorite fast food meal?
In-N-Out of kids.
If a deaf kid swears in sign language, does his mom wash his hands with soap?