Kid jokes
When the school shooter makes the emo kid hang himself and the autistic kid thinks it's a piñata: 🤪🏏
Steven Hawking walks into a bar... no, I'm just kidding.
Why didn't Michael Jackson get away with messaging with kids? Because they were all juveniles.
Why do so many kids love boomerangs? Because they always come back.
I'm such a good babysitter because the last person I babysat was so flat.
It’s like I always tell my kids:
"Two in the pink, one in the stink."
How can you tell an anti-vaccine kid?
It's only got 10 hours to live.
If you're feeling mad, punch an autistic kid. What's he gonna do, blabber to the teacher?
I was watching a documentary about how storks carry babies from their previous life to the next.
In his old life, Michael Jackson must’ve been a teddy bear. The storks let him play with kids for a change.
Why did the kids love the mushrooms?
Because they're fun-guys!
I was always told as a kid that I have to pick between being a programmer and an English teacher.
They said: you can't be a "pro-grammer nazi."
When the school shooter gives the autistic kid a glock and he shoots himself, thinking it’s a cigarette.
How do Chinese people name their kids?
They roll a coin down the staircase and it says, "Ching chang chong..."
A priest and a rabbi were hanging out at a playground. The priest waves to a kid to come over and tells the rabbi, "Let's screw this kid."
The rabbi looks confused and asks, "Out of what?"
So, a retarded kid's mom drops her kid off at school and says, "You better stop the bus today, because I’m not picking you up." So he agrees, and he arrives at the bus stop and says, "Stop!" (in a retarded voice). The bus goes straight past him. The next day, the mom says the same thing, and the kid goes to the bus stop and says, "Stop!" (in a retarded voice). The bus goes straight past him. The third day, his mom says, "I don’t care if I have to jump out in the middle of the road, you better stop that bus!" So the kid goes to the bus stop and jumps out in the middle of the road and says, "Stop!" The bus driver runs over him. A nearby lady stops the bus and says, "Why’d you run that poor kid over?" and he responds, "'Cause he was making fun of me" (in a retarded voice).
Where's is the candy, sir???
Over there.
(kid steps in van)
I don't see any candy.
What's the difference between a paralyzed kid and a father?
The father gets to leave, while the kid stays.
Okay, so one time a deaf kid got into a car accident, but he didn't herd in on the news.
There was a doctor's room filled with 20 women, 4 kids, 15 men, and 1 dog. However, there were forty foreheads. How is this possible?
(They will think 44 heads, not 40 foreheads.)
Because there are 40 foreheads, not 44 heads.
There is a kid in my school who is exactly like Dahmer, but he doesn't eat ppl. Or does he...?
He's Dahmer's son @domink.