Kid jokes
There was an animal on my porch, then I shot it in the head. It was strange that it had coffee in its hand. I flipped it over, and it was an animal, but it looked a lot like my kid.
What is the difference between Superman and an emo kid? Superman can actually land.
There is a kid in my school who is exactly like Dahmer, but he doesn't eat ppl. Or does he...?
He's Dahmer's son @domink.
What did the kid with no arms get for Christmas?
A pair of gloves!
Nah, I’m not that mean, he’s still trying to open his presents.
A kid is learning about planets in school, when he hears the planet Uranus. Knowing it's the perfect opportunity for a joke, the kid replies, "Where's my anus?"
If a man kills a kid, it's called Murder.
If a woman kills a kid, it's called Reproductive Rights.
Why do emo kids wear hoodies?
They hang easier.
For some reason a group of emo kids are following me because I gave them a Happy Meal.
This mute kid was getting made fun of. I told him to speak up for himself.
One day this kid says to his dad, "Dad, they bully me at school."
His dad asks why, and the kid says, "They bully me because I got no hands."
Then his dad says, "Who would do such a thing like that? I want to know who they are. Point at them!"
What did the dad say to the kid?
"U got to be kidding me."
Why do dead babies cry? Just kidding, they are dead.
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, they all sit in the dark and cry.
When you ask an orphan to come over:
Kid: "Do you want to come over to my house?"
Orphan: "Yeah, sure."
Kid: "Ok, ask your parents—oh wait."
I read to deaf kids in my spare time.
What's the difference between an emo kid and an onion?
You cry when you cut an onion.
I saw an emo kid that got a haircut today. But instead of saying “Like ya cut, g” and slapping the neck, I slapped the wrist and said “Like ya cut’s g”.
The school shooter encounters the emo kid. He reaches for his gun, but the emo kid disappears. He then finds that his gun is not on him.
If gravity pulls things down at 9.8 m/s squared, why did the emo kid not come down?
What’s the difference between Jimmy and a normal kid? Jimmy is fat.