Kid jokes

I went to go hang out with the emo kids, but they already did.

What has eight legs and leaves kids alone? The Jackson 4.

When the quiet kid has an argument with the school shooter, and you didn't get to pull out the AK.

What do you call a kid in a wheelchair coming out of a building on fire? Hot wheels.

When you forget the pinata at the birthday party. The kids: "Aww man." But the emo kid just hung himself. Kids: "Yaaaaayyy." Parents: "Adjust, improvise, overcome, that is the way."

I asked a kid at my work where his parents were. He started crying. Man, I don't know what I did. I'll ask another kid at the orphanage.

When you were supposed to help the depressed kid, but not "help" the depressed kid.

If a deaf kid swears in sign language, does his mom wash his hands with soap?

An orphan, an emo, and an apple are on a tree. The apples get picked unlike the orphan, while the emo kid is already dead from hanging.

Kid sees their grandma taking pills and asks...

"Grandma, why do you need to take all those pills?"

"Well, Grandma needs to take the green medicine for her headaches, but the green pills give her diarrhea. So grandma needs to take the yellow pills for diarrhea, but those pills always make grandma very depressed. Because of her depression, grandma needs to take the black pills, but those always give her high blood pressure. To cure the high blood pressure, grandma has to take the red pills, but those make her always very horny. That's why grandpa has to take the blue pills."

What do emo kids and Hitler have in common?

There's gonna be more brains on the wall when they lose something.

What's in common with Michael Jackson and a phone?

Kids play with both of them.

An emo kid walked to me holding a rope, and asked: "Do you want to join my family tree?"

What did the rope and the tree say to the kid?

Do you want to hang later?

I went to the principal's office because I gave a deaf kid ear pods for his birthday.

An orphan is like marriage. The kid is always the reason for divorce. The kid is always the reason for his parents leaving him.

So, a woman gives birth to a child, and the doctor grabs it by the leg and holds it upside down. Then, he starts swinging it around the room, slamming it into the furniture. The mother tries to get up and starts screaming and crying, “Let my baby go, you sick bastard!” The doctor looks at the mother and stops swinging the baby. He is holding it by the left leg and starts chuckling, “I’m just kidding, it was already dead.”

What did the Chinese family name their retarded kid? Something Wong.

"So I asked a genie if he could grant me this wish. I wished to be like Michael Jackson. The next day, I was in a playground full of little kids."

Today, I gave a blind kid a gun and told him it was a hair dryer. The police thought it was suicide since I have no fingerprints. Wow, I’m so nice taking care of the disabled.