Kid jokes
Why don't catholic kids lose their virginity in their 20's?
Because they lost it to a priest when they were 5
Teacher: "I'm sorry, but you got a 74 on the test."
Quiet Kid: "I'll show you my own 74."
Classroom: *visible panic*
You can understand depression if you are still in school and get bullied by bullies, punished by teachers, and scolded by parents for being that quiet kid who says nothing.
The depressed kid at school tried giving the tree a high five.
It left him hanging.
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they all sit in the dark and cry.
To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked tacos. Then I made pizza because they don’t live in a swing state.
You’re not completely useless. You can always be used as a bad example.
I asked a kid at my work where his parents were. He started crying. Man, I don't know what I did. I'll ask another kid at the orphanage.
How do you punish blind kids?
Put them in a round room and tell them to sit in the corner.
I think my family is racist.
I brought a black girl home, and my wife went crazy and told me to pack my bags, and my kids were upset.
What’s a kid with Down syndrome's favorite candy... Grunts.
If a deaf kid swears in sign language, does his mom wash his hands with soap?
When you forget the pinata at the birthday party. The kids: "Aww man." But the emo kid just hung himself. Kids: "Yaaaaayyy." Parents: "Adjust, improvise, overcome, that is the way."
If you were driving when all of a sudden a young kid and an old man run right in front of you, what do you hit?
The brakes, you sick bastard.
My teacher: If you could go anywhere, where would you go?
Me: Demon Slayer.
My teacher: Why?
The quiet kid: TO GET EATEN BY A DEMON OR BECOME ONE!!!
What has eight legs and leaves kids alone? The Jackson 4.
A few kids were talking about how big their houses were. Kids were pointing to huge houses and huge apartments. One little boy said, "Bet I have the biggest home." To everyone's surprise, he pointed right towards the massive orphanage.
What’s a depressed kid's favorite game? Hangman.
That poor kid, he was fine until I bought him a mother's day card for his mum. The second he saw it, he burst out crying...
What do Kurt Cobain and an emo kid have in common?
They both smell like "Teen Spirit."
what did the suicidal kid say to the tree?
don't leave me hanging.
When the quiet kid has an argument with the school shooter, and you didn't get to pull out the AK.