Kid jokes

If you were driving when all of a sudden a young kid and an old man run right in front of you, what do you hit?

The brakes, you sick bastard.

What do Kurt Cobain and an emo kid have in common?

They both smell like "Teen Spirit."

A few kids were talking about how big their houses were. Kids were pointing to huge houses and huge apartments. One little boy said, "Bet I have the biggest home." To everyone's surprise, he pointed right towards the massive orphanage.

My teacher: If you could go anywhere, where would you go?

Me: Demon Slayer.

My teacher: Why?

The quiet kid: TO GET EATEN BY A DEMON OR BECOME ONE!!!

What has eight legs and leaves kids alone? The Jackson 4.

what did the suicidal kid say to the tree?

don't leave me hanging.

What’s a depressed kid's favorite game? Hangman.

That poor kid, he was fine until I bought him a mother's day card for his mum. The second he saw it, he burst out crying...

When the quiet kid has an argument with the school shooter, and you didn't get to pull out the AK.

What do you call a kid in a wheelchair coming out of a building on fire? Hot wheels.

I think my family is racist.

I brought a black girl home, and my wife went crazy and told me to pack my bags, and my kids were upset.

When you were supposed to help the depressed kid, but not "help" the depressed kid.

I asked a kid at my work where his parents were. He started crying. Man, I don't know what I did. I'll ask another kid at the orphanage.

I went to go hang out with the emo kids, but they already did.

If a deaf kid swears in sign language, does his mom wash his hands with soap?

What’s a kid with Down syndrome's favorite candy... Grunts.

When you forget the pinata at the birthday party. The kids: "Aww man." But the emo kid just hung himself. Kids: "Yaaaaayyy." Parents: "Adjust, improvise, overcome, that is the way."

My little cousin's birthday was in a few days, and his mom said he wanted Hot Wheels. So I sent him a video of me pushing a paralyzed kid into fire and screaming "HOT WHEELS!"

A guy is on trial for leading a mob to gang rape a woman he'd taken out for a date. His defense is that he was helping her live out a fantasy.

The DA is furious and asks him WTF gave him that idea. He said, "After the date I took her back to her house, pulled out my dick, and tried to hand it to her. She told me, 'You've gotta be fucking kidding me. Seriously, go get some help!'"

An orphan, an emo, and an apple are on a tree. The apples get picked unlike the orphan, while the emo kid is already dead from hanging.