Kid jokes
Cousin: Hahaha, I am their biological parent.
Kid: So what? At least they love me more.
What fell first, the emo kid or the leaf? The leaf, 'cause the emo kid just hung.
Yo mama so dumb, when a kid told her to “give her a fag,” she kidnapped Ricardo!
A kid decided to burn his house down.
His dad watched, tears in his eyes. He put his arm around the mom and said, "That's arson."
Kid: Hey, why am I an orphan?
Adult: I don't know, ask your parents.
Tonight, on Top Gear!
James May dives a bus full of kids off a mountain!
Richard Hammond starts WW3 in Germany!
And I fly a plane into the World Trade Center!
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?
Special forces.
How do pedophiles get kids to suck their d**k?
They spray paint it like candy 🍬.
Kid. What is an orphan's favorite breakfast?
Teacher. What?
Kid. Fruity pebbles with water.
Teacher. Why water?
Kid. Cause his dad never came back with the milk.
Teacher: What do you kids want to be when you grow up?
Kid 1: I want to be a firefighter.
Kid 2: I want to be a police officer.
Kid 3: I want to be dead like both my parents.
Teacher: Ok, everyone pull out your books.
Kid 4: Are we going to ignore what he said?
Teacher: What do you want me to do? Call his parents?
This kid yelled "Jenga" when we were watching a 9/11 documentary.
For all those Simpsons fans out there, this one I'm sure you know:
Abe: "It's rotten being old. No one listens to you."
Lisa: "It's awful being a kid. No one listens to you."
Homer: "I'm a white male, aged 18-49. Everyone listens to me--no matter how dumb my suggestions are."
White 40 year olds love little white kids, and so does Trump! The biggest hands to touch the kids and his daughter!
What do you call a white kid looking at infants?
Pedophilia boy.
What do you call a white kid who kills another?
Russia vs Ukraine hahaha.
Teacher: Anyone missing?
Orphan: My parents.
Teacher: Something that is real, kid.
Orphan: My family.
Teacher: OMG, out of my classroom, kid!
I don’t see why people say that emo kids don’t like to hangout. I seen them hanging all day.
What do emo kids and Hitler have in common?
There's gonna be more brains on the wall when they lose something.
Kid: Why is Pluto a dwarf planet?
Kid 2: Why?
Kid: 'Cause it's as short as your dick.
I saw an emo kid that got a haircut today. But instead of saying “Like ya cut, g” and slapping the neck, I slapped the wrist and said “Like ya cut’s g”.