Kid jokes
Why did the homeless man stop to help the kids cross the street?
To get them into his van.
Kid finds genie lamp, wishes to be Batman.
Genie: You're now an orphan.
It’s all fun and games at “take your kid to work day” until you realize your dad is a suicide bomber.
Billy and Bobby were walking to school one day. Billy pulled out an mp3 player.
"What's that?" Bobby inquired.
"Oh, just something to zone out the other kids," Billy responded.
The next day, Billy and Bobby were walking to school. Billy rummaged through his backpack and pulled out an mp4 player this time.
"Woah! What's that?" Bobby inquired.
"Oh, just a lil something to shut out the annoying kids at school," Billy responded.
The next day, Bobby noticed Billy's backpack was particularly heavy looking. Billy rummaged through his backpack just outside the school and pulled out an mp5 rifle.
"Holy shit, dude! What the fuck is that for?" Bobby gasped.
"Nice huh? This'll shut those fuckers up for good!" Billy replied.
What is the similarity between a sloth and a depressed kid?
They both hang from trees.
One day I walk up to an emo kid. I realized he had a fresh cut, so I grab my hand and slap his wrist and told him, "I like ya cut, G!"
Two kids told their parents they saw a man late at night entering their house on Christmas night.
The day later, they found out several houses were robbed.
I saw a small kid crying, so I asked him, "Where's your mom?" but he started crying, so I left the funeral. 🙂🙂
Have you heard about kids with AIDS?
It never gets old.
Teacher: What do you want when you grow up?
That depressed kid in class: Dead.
This kid lost Kahoot, so he shot up the school.
Kid to daddy: "Why do they call it Uranus?"
Daddy to kid: "Cause, son, it's Uranus."
On the first day of school, the teacher asked a student, "What are your parent's names?"
The student replied, "My father's name is Laughing and my mother's name is Smiling."
The teacher said, "Are you kidding?"
The student said, "No, Kidding is my brother, I am Joking."
What's a depressed kid's least favorite game?
Cut the rope.
What's the difference between a white kid and a computer?
The child has no trouble shooting.
I went to the store and I saw a kid with fake airpods, and I was going to tell him, "Nice fake airpods," but it was his hearing aids.
When you go to an orphanage for a field trip: When the workers said, "I remember you as a kid."
Dad, why are we here?
Because you're not loved.
What did they do with his body when he died?
They made him into Lego so kids can play with him for once.
Kid 1: Do you know Candace?
Kid 2: Candace who?
Kid 1: Candace dick fit in your mouth!