Kid jokes
There was an animal on my porch, then I shot it in the head. It was strange that it had coffee in its hand. I flipped it over, and it was an animal, but it looked a lot like my kid.
How do you help a depressed kid face their fears... You count to 3 and say jump?
Q. What is the difference between a normal kid and an emo kid? A. The phrase "jump rope" means different things.
Q. What's the difference between a normal kid and an emo kid? A. One has a functioning neck.
What's an emo kid's favorite movie?
Suicide Squad.
I have big balls, said the kid holding two soccer balls.
When the quiet kid has an argument with the school shooter, and you didn't get to pull out the AK.
Teacher: Alright kids. 50, 49, 48, 47. What comes before 47?
Kid: AK!
Everyone else: 🚪 🏃🏾♀️🏃🏽🏃🏿🏃🏾♀️🏃🏽🏃🏿🏃🏿🏃🏿♀️ 🎒 🏃🏻
How to punish a blind kid, rearrange his bedroom.
I told kids to make a family tree. God, I love working at the orphanages.
Why did the kid cry?
His dad didn't get the milk.
What do you call a movie with kids with cancer? ... Finding Chemo.
Yo momma so fat she died at 5. Her kids, f
* * *
What's the difference between an emo kid and a pack of Oreos? The bar code on the emo kid gets longer every day.
My son asked me what dark humor was, so I told him, "see that kid in the wheelchair, ask him to stand." He said, "But Dad I'm blind." Exactly.
Why is that kid walking like that? Oh, he's an alter boy.
Americans live in the U.S.A. The quiet kids live in the U.Z.I.
Did you know the "f" in "orphan" stands for family?
Kid: There is no "f" in "orphan."
There is no family.
Teacher: What’s the closest planet?
Kids yell: Sun.
Except for one.
Other kid: Uranus.
Teacher: Uranus?
Other kid: Yeah, it’s right there.
Say no to drugs, kids. Suddenly, the poster disappeared. I hallucinated. Must have been the cocaine.