Kid jokes
Why do Christmas trees like wheelchairs? Because they have kids.
I read to deaf kids in my spare time.
"Peado van, peado van, stay away, peado van, peado van, take her away."
I can't afford food, I can't afford childcare, might as well just get the money out of her.
The sun is out, and the pedo vans are out.
Parents, keep your kids away from ice cream vans. Once they hear the sound, you'll never see your kids again!
Edward Scissorhands: Why is it that every time I touch someone, they get offended?
Kids: Because you're a psycho path.
When the school shooter makes the emo kid hang himself and the autistic kid thinks it's a piñata: 🤪🏏
So, we all know that old kids' joke: why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9. Well, why was 10 scared? Because he was in the middle of 9 11.
What does a kid say to an orphan, "Where are your parents?"\n\n"I don’t have parents. Where are yours? Are you an orphan like me? I hope not!"
When the school shooter drops his gun, and the autistic kid picks it up thinking it’s his long lost nerf gun.
What did Michael Jackson say to the kid sitting on his lap?
"Just beat it."
Wat is a kids gajfnjafb movie? A sjdhfsdjfmksdf LOL
What do you call a kid in a wheelchair coming out of a building on fire? Hot wheels.
A robber held up a depressed kid at gun point.
The depressed kid took the gun, and said, "I'll do it myself."
What are the differences between Santa and Joe Biden?
The kids actually want to sit on Santa’s lap.
What do Miss Reeves and Michael Jackson have in common?
They both have a touchy feeling for kids.
Little Johnny got a train set for Christmas. He takes it around the circle, parks it at the station, and says, "Alright, you motherfuckers get off here, and you motherfuckers get off here." His mom comes rushing in and says, "Little Johnny, we don’t use that kind of language, go to your room and think about what you did!"
After a few hours, she lets him out of his room. He goes back to play with his train set. He takes it around the circle, parks it at the station, and says, "Okay, you guys get off here, and you guys get off here. And if you have any complaints about the two hour delay, take it up with the bitch in the kitchen."
What do you call a terrorist in a kids' swimming pool?
A bath bomb.
When the school shooter walks by the emo kid and doesn’t feel his gun anymore.
When the school shooter gives the autistic kid a glock and he shoots himself, thinking it’s a cigarette.
What's the benefit of taking a depressed kid to the store?
Scan the wrist and you might get a discount.