Kid jokes
Why have kids? Just go get one now, no nine-month delay.
What's an orphan's least favorite day? Take your kid to work day.
Average Kid: brings mp3 to school.
Rich Kid: Brings mp4 to school.
Quiet Kid: Brings an mp5.
What do you call a group of depressed kids?
Suicide squad.
Welcome to Dave's orphanage. You make 'em, we take 'em!
What do I call a white person with 15 black kids?
Coach.
The moment when she tells you: "I'm a virgin. Be gentle!" And you tell her, "Don't worry, I used to work with kids."
What's the difference Michael Jackson and a play station have in common...
They're both plastic and kids turn them on.
Why didn't the pirate write a letter to his mom?
Are you kidding me?!?
What’s the difference between dark humor and morbid humor?
Dark humor is ten kids in one container; morbid humor is one kid in ten containers.
If the teacher tells you to stand up if you're not gay and there's that one kid in the wheelchair.
There was a new kid in my school. The first thing the teacher said was, "Me, you, the basement NOW!"
One day I told a kid what 2 x 12 was. He said he didn't know. I said let's go to my basement and figure it out. He is still in my basement trying to do the equation.
My mum found a chest that was wet, and it had a child in it. She asked me what it was for. I said I put kids in it and chuck it in a river until they are dead.
Yesterday I had a party.
I got questioned about five dead kids locked up in a box.
I did that when I was 13. Damn, I forgot about them!
My builder was extending my basement when he questioned me because he found three dead kids in a corner tied together.
Teacher: How many kids are in this classroom?
Kid: 73 if you count the ones you have hid in the basement.
So a girl goes to Santa in the mall, and Santa asks what she would like for Christmas. So the kid says: “a little sister”. So then Santa says: “bring me your mother!”
What did they do with Michael Jackson when he died?
They melted him down and turned him into Lego, so kids could play with him for once.
I saw a little kid crying yesterday, so I asked him where his parents were. God, I love working at an orphanage.