Kid: Dad, what's an orphan?
Dad:
So I saw a 15 year old kid near a 15 year old girl checking her out.
Then I told him, "What are you doing?"
He told me he will decorate her locker, donate a lot of money to her, and buy her a lot of stuff.
He then told me how easy would that be?
I told him: "That sounds pretty SIMPle."
Tired kid with asthma: "It's hard to breathe."
Gym Teacher: "That's alright."
Other Kid: "Hush!"
Teacher: Ok kids, time to go home.
The orphan: What is home?
Teacher: Here, I have somewhere for you.
*puts in trash can*
What hit the ground first, the feather or the depressed kid?
The feather, the rope was stopping the kid.
I was at a funeral for some kids in a school shooting. I don’t understand why everyone was so sad, so I asked a lady, "what’s so sad?" and she said, "What do you think was running through these kid’s head before they died?" I replied, "probably a bullet." She gasped and said, "do you have any idea how insensitive that is? What do you think is running through their parent’s heads?" I said "probably all the money they're losing from this funeral."
Me on my way to the principal's office after the trans kid told me to act my age, so I told him to act his gender.
What do starving kids call Venetian blinds?
Bunk beds.
I'm going to open a wellness center for ASD kids to be able to express themselves through music and painting. I will call it Artism!
So Kobe Bryant walked into a bar, just kidding, he's dead and his fame went spiraling out of control.
How do you make epileptic kids dance?
Throw a flash bang in their room.
Why did Rolf Harris meet underage kids?
To tie his kangaroo down, sport!
Once there was a midget man jumping on a pothole saying 43, 43, 43. A kid walks up to the man and says, "Why are you saying 43, 43, 43?"
The man stops and looks at him, then he starts jumping again and says 43, 43, 43.
The kid asked him again and so on.
Then the man stops, opens the pothole, throws the kid in, closes it, and starts jumping and says 44, 44, 44!!!"
I pushed a disabled kid in a fire, then called him "hot wheels."
My wife left me yesterday.
I haven't talked to the kids in a year.
Me: punching a kid.
My FBI agent: You're adopted.
You really can't call Stalin bad, just think about the kids that depression.
One day, the teacher asks a boy, "Why can't fish talk underwater?"
The kid says, "If I put your head underwater, will you be able to talk?"
What do you call an emo kid's suicide live stream?
America's funniest home videos.
Why did the fire not burn the kid? Because it had no lips.
