Justice Jokes

You have been accused of stealing toilet rolls. How do you plead?

Guilty or not guilty?

What does a kite and a criminal have in common?

They both get high.

What would Bill Cosby be if he was white?

Innocent.

What is the difference between Nicole Brown Simpson and cancer?

OJ couldn’t kill cancer.

When cops say you have the right to remain silent,

You're just happy you have the right to do something.

A screen capture of a search engine query showing a search for 'justice for w' with auto-completed options including 'justice for waluigi' and 'justice for women'. Above the search bar is the text "Glad to see we have our priorities in order".

My son told me he wanted to be Batman when he grows up. That little shit wants to be gunned down in an alley.

What words black people can't say? "Thanks for your help, officer."

Judge to the defendant: "Defendant, do you have a criminal record?"

"No."

"Have you always been honest?"

"No, never been caught!"

What do you call a nut that screws and then bolts?

An escapee from a mental hospital.

Racism.

A man walks into a bar. The corrections officer says, "Usually we open the cell before you go in, now stop bleeding on my floor!"

Bruh, the cops just arrested a black dude...

Well nvm, they shot him dead.

One time, Little Johnny heard his parents "wrestling" in their bed. So the next morning, he went to rape all the little girls in school. This then led to his demise.

No girls told on him, but when he grew up, he was a raper. He never stopped. In total, "little" Johnny had over 31 sons that he didn't know about. When he was sentenced to jail, he raped all the inmates despite his small figure. He was then sent to the death sentence, "eagle wing" torture style.

His parents were happy he died, and the morbid rapist was put down, never to return again. However, all the sons had his genes, including his MINDSET. They then became a cult and shot down 2014 cops, 471 military members and 72951 males and females. The kids, you ask? Only the males were spared, and taught how to operate the guns. All but 419 females were killed. They soon became the world's strongest empire. No one could stop Little Johnny's sons. NO ONE.

A drunk walks out of a bar late at night and sees a nun walking past on the footpath. He utters something hateful to himself as he begins running, building momentum before launching himself at the nun, catching her with a massive superman punch to the back of the head, knocking her tumbling brutally to the pavement.

He proceeded with a swift kicking to the nun's ribs and spine before grabbing the nun by the scruff of her habit and lifting her limp to her feet till face to face. Looking the nun dead in her eyes with menace, the drunk victoriously growled, "You're not so bloody tough tonight, are ya, Batman?"

A woman ran into a police station screaming, "Help, I have been graped!" The policeman said, "Do you mean raped?" The woman said, "No, there was a bunch of them!"

If you unironically think someone who killed themselves should have their body in jail, you are honestly such a fucking embarrassment to humanity.

I was taking a walk near the prison when I saw a good looking guy climbing down the fence, and when he noticed me, he gave me a sneer! It was pretty condescending.