How did Peter Parker get caught as Spider-Man?
Well, he weaved a really tangled web, and Aunt May saw it.
Why did Timmy throw the clock out the window?
It reminded him of Arnold Clock, the man convicted of knife raping his wife.
The other day I pushed a Chinese woman off the Golden Gate Bridge. I was Wong on so many levels.
The cops are still searching for my wife's killer. Luckily, I already fled the country.
I hate double standards. If you burn a body at a crematorium, you're doing a good job. If you burn a body at home, you're destroying evidence.
Q: What is red, white, and blue and fun to watch?
A: A cop car rolling over after trying to catch someone for speeding.
People who torture others for making bad puns should be severely punished.
Have you heard of the restaurant Karma?
There is no menu because you only get what you deserve.
What is Batman's favorite food?
Justice.
You're so lucky bullies don't have a chance to push you around anymore?
They'll get theirs when they're in a wheelchair?
Why was 7 afraid of 9? Because he's a registered sex offender.
I killed a Wood elf yesterday. The guard charged me with... mer-der.
A man broke into Stevie Wonder's house and threatened to kill his wife.
He just turned a blind eye.
What do you call a convict in prison for touching little girls? A boy named Brandon.
So you wanna play like that, ayy? Well, Sydney didn't wanna play like that either, and that's why you got arrested.
What do lawyers wear to court?
Lawsuits.
A woman ran into a police station screaming, "Help, I have been graped!" The policeman said, "Do you mean raped?" The woman said, "No, there was a bunch of them!"
What happened to the man who made too many bad jokes? He served out a cruel and unusual PUNishment.
Hear about the restaurant called karma? There is no menu: You get what you deserve.
Why was the Human Torch arrested?
He had firearms.
