Did you hear about the crime in the parking garage? It was wrong on so many levels.
Justice Jokes
when Ted Bundy found out he was getting the death penalty, he was pretty shocked...
"Suicide is a murder, and my body should go to jail."
Today I gave a blind guy a gun and told him it was a hair dryer. Since I have no fingerprints, the police said it was suicide. I guess you can say I took care of him!
What’s the difference between school and prison? One is painted.
And Mary said God had given her a child, so Joseph went and joined Fathers For Justice.
You have been accused of stealing toilet rolls. How do you plead?
Guilty or not guilty?
What happened to the police that crossed the road?
They solved a murder involving the nut case.
I wasn’t planning on going for a run today, but those cops came out of nowhere.
I got the joke from my brother.
Two kids were beating up a kid in an alley, so I stepped in to help. He didn’t stand a chance against the three of us.
I'm in school lol.
There is a dark alley. Who do you call?
Batman.
Am tired of my country!!!! How can two policemen use one gun?
Why is it that when women decide to kill an unborn baby, it's a "CHOICE," but when I decide to drive my F-150 into a playground full of kids, it's called "MURDER"!
Why did the moron throw his clock out the window?
The clocks reminded him of Richard Clock, the convict who knife-raped his wife.
Did you hear about the bank robber?
Turns out he got shot by the police.
And he wound up in prison.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because these jokes are not funny.
Here's why the chicken crossed the road...
The chicken was on the run from a crazy-ass butcher ready to murder the poor thing, so the chicken crossed the road. The chicken was crossing the road, then a blind kid saw the chicken, and the kid was hit by a flying rock, his vision was blurred (what vision?) and was actually cured of the blind. The chicken ran and jumped into a truck's opening and was never seen again... The kid got up from the ground and looked at the road, to see the chicken was not there, and said..." The chicken crossed the road...." The kid yelled at everyone about the chicken crossing the road and got a lot of positive attention. Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and Reddit were full of the chicken nonsense and gained widespread attention from N.A to Asia in only 1 day.
The butcher was arrested for the attempted murder of a joke animal and was sentenced to over 20 years in solitary confinement, and a few weeks later, the sentence was moved to a life sentence, and the butcher became known as The ChicKiller.
The End (hope you enjoyed, I was bored so I made this shit...)
My teacher is a rapist.
A boy asked his dad for some money to buy an ice cream with, so he went to an ice cream van. Whilst he was in the queue, two boys asked him what flavor he was getting. He told them "strawberry." The two boys were shocked and beat him up. The ice cream man felt bad and gave him his strawberry ice cream for free.
When he got home, his dad also asked what flavor he bought. The boy said "strawberry." His dad then kicked him out of the house. The boy, confused, walked down the street and was stopped by the police, who were looking for a boy who had been eating strawberry ice cream. The boy said, "That's me," and the policeman arrested him.
A week later in court, the boy was on trial. The judge asked, "Can you tell me what were you doing on the fifth of May?" (the day he was arrested) The boy said, "I was eating ice cream." The judge decided he was innocent. On the way out, the judge asked him what the flavor was (he had forgotten to ask during the trial). Of course, he answered with "strawberry." The judge, horrified, realized he had given the wrong verdict and the boy should have been executed. Unfortunately, he couldn't change what had happened, so the boy walked out and crossed the road but was hit by a car and died.
The moral of the story is look left and right before crossing the road.
Me: Now I know why Michael Jackson turned white.
The police: You finally figured it out.
One night when I was six, I had this super annoying accent, and when I said the number "six," Oh no... One night my Catholic priest asked me how many cookies I needed for my family. I told him six, but thanks to my accent being mixed with many others including Scottish, French, and Russian, it sounded like I said "I need to have sex." He looked at me strange then pulled me into a closet, being a pedo.
When Momma asked me why I was missing for 6 hours, I told her, "I went to get the cookies like you told me to, and father raped the Christianity out of me." The angry look she gave my father was amazing. Then with my Papa, she beat the hell outta him.
Serves him right.
