My mother-in-law would have been on one of the planes that crashed on 9/11.
Had I known in advance, I would have bought her the ticket.
Joke Jokes
Your hairline goes so far back that it was getting whipped in the 1800s.
I can’t take my dog to the park anymore.
Why?
The ducks keep trying to eat him.
Why would they do that?
Because he’s pure-bread.
What’s a vegetable’s favorite dance?
The cabbage patch.
What do you call an Australian visiting the UK on holiday?
Returning to the scene of the crime.
What is the best joke of all time?
Feminism.
How did the cannibal know the girl he was eating for dinner had COVID-19?
She lost her taste.
Father talks to his 5-year-old son: “No, Petie, you don’t have to worry. There is no monster sleeping under your bed. It sleeps every day in the bed next to me.”
What's a pedo's favorite snack?
Sour Patch Kids.
I went fishing with my grandpa, and my fishing line caught the attention of a school of fish. I told him to get my gun.
A black man said, "Where are the young ones?"
A guy on a bus saw a beautiful girl. He asked for her number, and of course, she said no. He asked the bus driver for advice, and he said, "That girl goes to the cemetery to pray every day at 10 p.m. and look for a statue of an angel." So he dresses up as God, goes to the grave, and she sees him. She says, "Oh, Lord, end my misery! Kill me now!" And he said, "Only if you do something for me first." She replied, "What is it, oh mighty Lord?" He said, "Have sex with me." She agreed. They had sex, and when she was done sucking his dick, he said, "I have something to tell you." He took off his costume and said, "I'm the guy from the bus." And she took off her costume: "I'm the bus driver."
(Does anyone remember this? It's an old joke someone made, or does no one remember this? I didn't make this, but it went smth like this)
Why are Christmas trees banned in mental hospitals?
Because the ornaments wouldn't be the only things hanging.
Why are there no chemists in Africa?
Because you can’t take tablets on an empty stomach.
What do Viagra and Disneyland have in common?
They both cause you to stand around for an hour waiting for a two-minute ride.
Even people who are good for nothing can bring a smile to your face.
For instance, when you push them down the stairs.
I would tell a 9/11 joke, but it would probably go up in flames.
Are you bisexual...
Or are you hellosexual?
When you got on an airplane, the flight attendant asked which hairline you were flying with.
Person with no arms: Even though I have no arms, I can do anything you guys can.
Me: If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands. 👏👏 If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands. 👏👏
Person with no arms: 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
"You wanna play the rape game?" "No." "That's the spirit!"
