Joke jokes
Why do people hate abortion jokes?
It leaves you with an empty feeling inside.
What's black and eats Kitty?
Serval cancer.
What is the difference between a broom and a mop?
It’s hard to beat my girlfriend when she’s holding the mop.
A Thai woman ran into a wall. What does she break?
Her boner.
What is the difference between a cow and 9/11?
You can’t milk a cow for 15 years.
What’s the difference between video games and my dad?
My dad doesn’t beat me.
The USA guaranteeing freedom of speech is the biggest joke I've heard... Tell that to the people who were almost killed because their cars had "NASCAR Sucks" and "Country and Western is rubbish" on them!
I saw two guys wearing matching clothing, and I asked if they were gay. They quickly arrested me.
What is the difference between the Twin Towers and Elton John?
Elton John is still standing.
What do rocks and girls have in common?
The flat ones get skipped.
What do you call a basketball player with erectile dysfunction?
Tragic Johnson.
I'm so good at sleeping, I can do it with my eyes closed.
I have some jokes about unemployed people, but none of them work.
This joke's about flowers, the blue one's a violet.
Your mom's the Twin Towers and I am the pilot!
Did you hear about the fire at Noelle's place?
Her sister is a real Dess-ember!
You must be from Pearl Harbor, 'cause baby, you're the bomb!
A woman's age is harder to get than the President's phone number.
Bill Clinton, George W. Bush, and George Washington are on a sinking ship.
As the boat sinks, George Washington heroically shouts: “Save the women!”
George W. Bush hysterically hollers: “Screw the women!”
Bill Clinton asks excitedly: “Do we have time?”
What do you call a smart person in America?
A tourist.
A priest, Kelly Clarkson, and Ian Watkins all walk into a bar... only for the bartender to exclaim, "We don't serve your kind around here!" Then he muttered in a low voice, "Fucking paedos."