Joke jokes
Why are bald eagles bald? Because you're bald!
Q: What's black and white and red all over?
A: A nun falling down the stairs.
U geiy haha lol.
A blind man went to a restaurant.
"Menu sir?" asked the owner. "I'm blind, just bring me one of your dirty forks, I will smell it and order." The confused owner went to the kitchen to retrieve a fork and returned to the blind man.
The blind man smelled the fork with a deep breath, "Yes I will have the lamb with seasoned potatoes and spring vegetables." Unbelievable, thought the owner. The blind man ate and left. Two weeks later the blind man returned. The owner, wanting to know how good his smell is, quickly went to the kitchen where his wife Brenda was cooking and said, "Do me a favor and rub this fork over your private part" which she did. He then goes to the blind man and gives him the fork. The blind man takes it and puts it to his nose and says, "Oh interesting! I never knew Brenda works here!"
I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!" I said, "Wow!" Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629."
What's the difference between Paul Walker and my computer?
When my computer crashes, I actually give a fuck.
Wanna hear a joke?
Jesus being real.
What's the difference between a baby and a sandwich?
I don't f**k a sandwich before I eat it.
When Simba was walking too slow, I told him to mufasa.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Ididap.
Ididap who?
That's the joke, you did a poo!
What's the best way to get a man to confess to a rape?
Ask him to tell a rape joke.
I'm friends with 2 letters of the alphabet. I don't know why.
What is the best part of twenty-one year olds?
There's twenty of them.
What do you call a Roman with a pubic hair in his teeth?
Glad He Ate Her.
What's the difference between America and a flash drive?
One is USA and the other is USB! 😂😂😂
How are a gay guy and a refrigerator different?
When you pull the meat out of the refrigerator, it doesn’t fart.
The other day I commented a dark humor joke on a post about a guy who lost his best friend. The joke was “I was so drunk last night I threw a mushroom at a midget and said ‘grow mario grow.’” He commented “What the hell is wrong with you?” and I said “IKR I really gotta work on my alcoholic issues.”
He then replied “This is a post about my dead best friend get the fuck off my feed I don’t even know you.” And so I said “Well then get to know me, I could become your new best friend!”
What do you call an animal with 3 eyes, 2 mouths, 6 noses, and 4 ears?
Why did half of the world go to hell?
Because they were laughing at morbid jokes.
(You've been warned!)
What do you call a drunken Muslim?
Mohammered.