Joke jokes
I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!" I said, "Wow!" Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629."
What's the difference between Paul Walker and my computer?
When my computer crashes, I actually give a fuck.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Ididap.
Ididap who?
That's the joke, you did a poo!
Wanna hear a joke?
Jesus being real.
What's the difference between a baby and a sandwich?
I don't f**k a sandwich before I eat it.
When Simba was walking too slow, I told him to mufasa.
What's the difference between America and a flash drive?
One is USA and the other is USB! 😂😂😂
What do you call a Roman with a pubic hair in his teeth?
Glad He Ate Her.
What's the best way to get a man to confess to a rape?
Ask him to tell a rape joke.
I'm friends with 2 letters of the alphabet. I don't know why.
What is the best part of twenty-one year olds?
There's twenty of them.
How are a gay guy and a refrigerator different?
When you pull the meat out of the refrigerator, it doesn’t fart.
The other day I commented a dark humor joke on a post about a guy who lost his best friend. The joke was “I was so drunk last night I threw a mushroom at a midget and said ‘grow mario grow.’” He commented “What the hell is wrong with you?” and I said “IKR I really gotta work on my alcoholic issues.”
He then replied “This is a post about my dead best friend get the fuck off my feed I don’t even know you.” And so I said “Well then get to know me, I could become your new best friend!”
What do you call an animal with 3 eyes, 2 mouths, 6 noses, and 4 ears?
What do you call a drunken Muslim?
Mohammered.
Why did half of the world go to hell?
Because they were laughing at morbid jokes.
(You've been warned!)
A roman walks into a bar and holds up 2 fingers and says, "Five beers, please!"
Dark humor is like a boy with cancer.
They never get old.
Knock, knock. Who's there? Me.
What's the difference between a lightbulb and a pregnant lady? You can unscrew a lightbulb.