Joke jokes
How do you make a dead baby float?
Two scoops of ice cream, one scoop of dead baby!
What is a Mexican's favorite sport? Cross country.
What is brown and extremely sticky?
A stick.
Ever notice 9-1-1 (the number for the po-po) is the Great Date (9-11)... Hmmm.
If I had a sister with only 1 leg... wouldn't her name be I-Lean?
Why did Stephen Hawking make it to heaven?
He couldn't make it up the stairs.
One day my pet barked at me and so I got scared and was my dad actually. It was weird, you should’ve saw him and so the day goes on because he likes to run around the house that he likes to do it out 😂😂😂😂😱
What do you call a parade of rabbits hopping backwards?
A receding hare-line!
Do you want to hear a paper joke?
Never mind, it is tearable.
Hey, did you hear about the cat revolution? It was a cat-astrophy! I guess we just have to stay PAWSitive!
Why don't some people like pennies?
Because it's common cents.
Q: How much does a skeleton weigh?
A: A skele-TON.
What do you call an ugly, grey thing?
Cinderelephant!
A termite walks into a bar and says, "Hey, is the bartender here?"
Hi, how are you? Are you good?
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
Because there's too many jokes about Sally.
Why do men sag their pants so low and still wear a belt?
The same reason women bring their purse on a date and don't pay.
Have you ever walked through Stephen Hawking's house? No?
Well..... neither has he.
What’s the difference between me and Chester Bennington?
I know how to use an exercise band.
What does one piece of toilet paper say to the other?
"I'm wiped!"