Joke jokes
I'm doing something Stephen Hawking can't do... pressing "I'm not a robot."
Why did the man sit on his porch and bark at the postman when he came?
Because his dog had a sore throat!
I got pranked so many times. Once I saw two wheels rolling down the street. I heard this noise. I looked behind me. There's a legless man in a wheelless chair screaming, "HELP! I CAN'T GO ANYWHERE!" but I walked away. I knew it was a prank.
What is 14 inches long and starts with D?
A Dookie From GREEN DAY
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Heehheehehehehehehe
To get to the other side. Ahaahahahahahahahahahahaa!
What did the daddy bullet say to his son when he missed the bull and hit something brown and gross?
"That is bull crap!"
What do you call a cow in a moving van?
A: A mooving cow.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Why?
To visit the ugly witch's house.
Knock, knock...
Who's there?
The chicken!
A girl named Ranch went to the store and stayed there. Why? Because she was ranched!
What did chemical 1 say to chemical 2?
"I think you're overreacting."
I've asked so many people what LGBTQ stands for. So far, no one has given me a straight answer.
Sayori: *dies*
Monika: "You kinda left her hanging... 😊"
MC: "😨"
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Bill Cosby.
Bill Cosby who?
Never mind, I’ll come back when you’re sleeping.
"Lettuce" stop making vegetable puns. We don't carrot all about them and they're not a-peas-ing.
What is the difference between Michael Phelps and Hitler?...
Michael Phelps can finish a race.
What’s the difference between Santa and my dad?
Santa got the milk.
Remember back in the day when your TV wouldn't work so you'd bang it a few times?
I tried that with my dishwasher, but unfortunately, she ended up pregnant...
Son to mother: "Mom, all the kids in the school are making fun of me because I am still a virgin."
Mother: "Well, start giving them bad grades, and they will stop."
The best part about Asian jokes is that the only people that can be offended can't see the jokes.
Genders are like the Twin Towers because there used to be two, now it's just a sensitive subject.