Joke

Joke jokes

Bill Cosby

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Bill Cosby.

Bill Cosby who?

Never mind, I’ll come back when you’re sleeping.

Vegetable

"Lettuce" stop making vegetable puns. We don't carrot all about them and they're not a-peas-ing.

Difference

What is the difference between Michael Phelps and Hitler?...

Michael Phelps can finish a race.

Dad

What’s the difference between Santa and my dad?

Santa got the milk.

Dishwasher

Remember back in the day when your TV wouldn't work so you'd bang it a few times?

I tried that with my dishwasher, but unfortunately, she ended up pregnant...

Virgin

Son to mother: "Mom, all the kids in the school are making fun of me because I am still a virgin."

Mother: "Well, start giving them bad grades, and they will stop."

People

The best part about Asian jokes is that the only people that can be offended can't see the jokes.

Gender

Genders are like the Twin Towers because there used to be two, now it's just a sensitive subject.

Football

What do you call 2 nuns and a prostitute that play football?

Two tight ends and a wide receiver.

Guy

Did you see the blind guy trip on a can?

He didn't either.

Fridge

My husband left a note on the fridge that said, "This isn't working." I'm not sure what he's talking about. I opened the fridge door and it's working fine!