Joke

Joke jokes

Library

This isn't an orphan joke, but I got a job at a library, but it only lasted 15 minutes. Turns out, books about women’s rights shouldn’t go in the Sci-Fi / Fantasy section.

Surface

Hey.

Girl: Hey.

Damn, I forgot my spray bottle.

Girl: What?

It says "spray on flat surfaces."

T-shirt

Friend: Your t-shirt is cringe.

Me: You should go get the Covid test because one of their symptoms is no taste.

People

No joke. I just want to say that my thoughts are with the Ukrainian people, and I wish them the best. Best of luck.

Orphan

I once saw an orphan... I decided to ask them a simple question... "Hey! Where is your family?"

They didn't reply.

I kept asking them. They started crying. I started laughing. They ran away...

Duck

Q: What do you call a duck that's sad?

A: Idk, but it's acting really duckpressed.

Orphan

What is the difference between a normal kid and an orphan?

A normal kid has a family.

Freedom

By the way, why are there no knock knock jokes about America?

Because freedom rings, but they never answer that door.

Enjoy!

Dad

What did the dad say to the kid?

Nothing, he went to get the milk.

Cancer

What's the difference between me and cancer?

My dad did not beat cancer.

Victim

Did you know victims of 9/11 are fast readers?

They went down 100 stories in 4 seconds.

Uranus

Talking about planets with my nephew.

He asked if you could plow thru Uranus because it's all gas.

Melon

Why did the melon jump into the lake? It wanted to be water melon.

Cat

What do you say when a cat says "me moaw"?

The cat says "me toooo!"