Joke jokes
"A priest, an imam, and a rabbit walk into a clinic to donate blood. The rabbit turns to the nurse and says, 'I think I'm a Type-O!'"
"What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?
One weighs a ton, and the other is a little lighter!"
A snake walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "How?"
"Did you hear about the guy who got the left side of his body amputated? He’s all right now."
Three years ago my doctor told me I was going deaf. I haven't heard from him since.
I couldn't figure out why the baseball kept getting larger. Then it hit me.
My dog is a genius... I asked him what is two minus two, he said nothing.
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use a honeycomb.
What do you call a paralyzed kid with a gun?
Special Forces.
If you scanned my thigh, it would show up as a package of Oreos on the screen.
Give a man a plane ticket and he flies for the day.
Push him out of the plane at 3,000 feet and he'll fly for the rest of his life.
Why do women get periods?
Just cancel the subscription.
When your girlfriend says it is too small, you say, "Just enjoy the small thing."
"What did the mom broom say to the baby broom? Go to sweep!"
Why did the baby strawberry cry? Because his mom was in a jam!
"Wanna hear a joke about paper? Never mind—it's tearable."
What does an autistic kid and a loaf of bread have in common?
They both have special needs.
Why is the number 10 always scared?
Answer: He’s in the middle of 9/11.
I told my dad that I wanted to go to a college with a 100% acceptance rate and a 50% graduation rate, and he said, "Your mom doesn't count as a college!"
What do you call a rapper with a cold?
Lil Sneezy.