Joke jokes
My phone is just like the Twin Towers; they got put in airplane mode.
What do you call 2 nuns and a prostitute that play football?
Two tight ends and a wide receiver.
Did you see the blind guy trip on a can?
He didn't either.
Your hairline be going up and down like a Formula 1 car!
What do you call an emo girl with a flat chest?
A cutting board.
I said I was going to my flat. I really meant your girl.
Why did the cookie cry?
Because its mom was a wafer too long!
"What did the mama tomato say to the baby tomato? Catch up!"
My husband left a note on the fridge that said, "This isn't working." I'm not sure what he's talking about. I opened the fridge door and it's working fine!
Why did the man miss the funeral?
He wasn’t a mourning person.
What do you call inexpensive circumcision? A rip-off.
"A priest, an imam, and a rabbit walk into a clinic to donate blood. The rabbit turns to the nurse and says, 'I think I'm a Type-O!'"
"What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?
One weighs a ton, and the other is a little lighter!"
A snake walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "How?"
"Did you hear about the guy who got the left side of his body amputated? He’s all right now."
Three years ago my doctor told me I was going deaf. I haven't heard from him since.
I couldn't figure out why the baseball kept getting larger. Then it hit me.
My dog is a genius... I asked him what is two minus two, he said nothing.
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use a honeycomb.
What do you call a paralyzed kid with a gun?
Special Forces.