Joke jokes
Why do golfers bring an extra pair of socks? In case they get a hole in one.
Did you hear about the man who swallowed his watch?
He went to the doctor hoping he could give him something to help pass the time.
What's worse than one dead baby in a trash can?
One dead baby in ten trash cans.
If the average male walks 1.7 miles a day, then why did my dad take 13 years to get the milk?
What do you call a sad Doge?
What?
Nothing but Sarrrooooddd!
It's really great that you can make fun of orphans, 'cause what are they going to do? Tell their parents?
What's the difference between you and me? You're not strangling a man with a cloak on.
What did a car say hi to?
It said hi to the school.
There is an upside to being an orphan.
Every bag of chips is family size.
Why did the music teacher need a ladder to reach the really high notes?
A bear walked into the bar and said, "Can I have a cola and a...whisky?" The bartender says, "What's with the big paws?"
What do you call a group of depressed kids?
A suicide squad.
What was the first animal in space?
The cow that jumped over the moon!
What do you call a fish with no parents?
An orfin.
Why did the tangerine copy off other people's work?
Because the tangerine was unORANGEinal!
Have you ever noticed when a woman is pregnant all her friends touch her stomach and say “congrats,” but none of them touch the man’s penis and say “well done?”
Repost
Why can't your nose be twelve inches?
Because then it would be a foot.
Mom: It's time for sleep.
Baby: Is that what you think, huh?
Mom: *gives baby pacifier*
Baby: Nice try, hobo.
Mom: Well, I'll come back later to see if he's gone asleep.
*few hours later*
Baby: *still awake*
Mom: Why IS HE NOT ASLEEP?!
Baby: Lol, I told you nice try haha.
My mom holds up a hot dog and shouts, "WHO WANTS A WIENIE!?"
Some dude: Water you thinking?
Me: You're drowning in my head.