Joke jokes
What do you call a guy at your doorstep with no arms and no legs?
Matt!
What do you get when you cross a rooster with a small dog?
A Cock-a-POODLE-Doo!
What animal has more lives than a cat?
A frog. It croaks every night.
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the knucklehead's house...
Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.
Teacher: How many kids are in this classroom?
Kid: 73 if you count the ones you have hid in the basement.
Yesterday I saw a guy spill all his Scrabble letters on the road.
So I asked him, “What’s the word on the street?”
What do you call a hippo that has been thrown in a pan?
Hippo-POT-amus!
Why were there two boys on the bay?
Because they were gay!
So an orphan goes to the store and gets a bunch of cartons of milk.
The cashier goes, "Woah, why so much?"
The orphan goes, "My dad never came back with the milk, so, well, here we are!"
Meat stands for: M - monitoring, E - evaluating, A - assessing/addressing, T - treatment.
So when you're shoving meat up people's asses, then you're monitoring them, evaluating them, assessing them, and treating them.
There is an upside to being an orphan.
Every bag of chips is family size.
Why did the music teacher need a ladder to reach the really high notes?
A bear walked into the bar and said, "Can I have a cola and a...whisky?" The bartender says, "What's with the big paws?"
What do you call a group of depressed kids?
A suicide squad.
What do you call a funny drink?
Punch!
Why can't your nose be twelve inches?
Because then it would be a foot.
Why did the orphan cross the road?
Because they thought they saw their parents. (Plot twist: the orphan got ran over.)
Knock, knock. Who's there? Iceberg lettuce. Iceberg lettuce who? Iceberg! Let us in!
"Hey, you! Why are you so serious?"
I saw a little boy begging for money.
I said, "Are you an orphan?"
He said, "Yes, what gave me away?"
I said, "Your parents!"