Joke jokes

What part of a vegetable is the hardest to eat?

The wheelchair.

I remember having a crush on my math teacher, so I winked at her and said, "Don't worry, babe, I'll call you later."

I got hit with a can of soda.

It doesn't matter, it was a soft drink.

Where did Sally go after the gunshot?

6 feet under.

*That is how deep they put the coffin...*

So I was watching TV, right? Then I f***ing got banged in the eye with either a remote or metal tongs. "WTF?"

Ok, now I'm not good at telling jokes, but this one is not too bad. One cunt said to another cunt, "Do you get cold at night?"

"Fuck no, cunt," the first cunt said, "Why?"

"I have a built-in set of vertical curtains to keep the cold out, cunt!" xx

How do you know if an Asian has broken into your house?

Your dog is gone. ;)

Have you heard about the blind man who saw the accident and the dead man who heard it?

I did 9/11 here's proof https://youtu.be/BVH73TonuG8

Why did they make bus stops? So the bus driver would know where to pick the orphan up.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Lettuce.

Lettuce who?

Lettuce in and I'll tell ya.

Stephen Hawking tried to charge his phone and unplugged his life support.

The previous joke was by Sebastian Wittrock, but he put Miguel Roberts as the name.

Yo' mama is a joke.

Q: What did the man say after removing another man's hat? A: He was decapitated.

What's Stephen Hawking’s favorite shampoo?

Head & Shoulders.

What's wrong with 89?

You blow me and I owe you one.

Why did Steven Hawkins go to hell?

Because he couldn't walk the stairs to heaven.

I was gonna tell you a joke about my abusive dad...

But I only remember the punch line👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊

Sugar Honey Ice Tea.

I FORGOT MY JOKE!