Joke jokes
Where does Bin Laden keep his CDs?
In Iraq.
Why can't Stephen Hawking go to heaven?
'Cause he'd walk up the stairs!
Me: (Tim) What's wrong?
Him: Wha...
Me: Are you inTIMidated?
What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?
A hippo is really heavy, a Zippo is a little lighter.
My step bro thought I was single and tried to take me, but I said, "I'm take." And guess what he did? He cried.
Why? Why would you do that?
What did the cow say when it wanted to go to the movies? -- "Let's go to the moovies!"
What was the last thing Stephen Hawking said before he died?
"Windows Shut Down."
You know this joke really cracks up my bones!
American says: "US mein shaadi E-mail se hoti hai..."
Sardar ji says: "Accha, India me to shaadi.....Fe-mail se hoti hai...!!!"
Have you heard about the blind man who saw the accident and the dead man who heard it?
What do you call a cow that doesn't stop shaking?
A milkshake.
Me: I'm sorry, Aaron.
Aaron: Why?
Me: Your parents couldn't be bothered to look past page one in the big book of baby names.
What is a bus ride that is dumb? A boring one.
So I was watching TV, right? Then I f***ing got banged in the eye with either a remote or metal tongs. "WTF?"
Ok, now I'm not good at telling jokes, but this one is not too bad. One cunt said to another cunt, "Do you get cold at night?"
"Fuck no, cunt," the first cunt said, "Why?"
"I have a built-in set of vertical curtains to keep the cold out, cunt!" xx
I did 9/11 here's proof https://youtu.be/BVH73TonuG8
Where did Sally go after the gunshot?
6 feet under.
*That is how deep they put the coffin...*
Why did they make bus stops? So the bus driver would know where to pick the orphan up.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Lettuce.
Lettuce who?
Lettuce in and I'll tell ya.
Why did the girl fall off the swing?
Because she had no arms.