Joke jokes
Chuck Norris destroys the yo mama!
Why was Timmy so sad? Because his dad stapled a frog to his forehead.
What's the chunkiest part of vegetable soup?
The wheelchair.
Hey guys! Ello here with an update!
I know I haven't been doing a lot of jokes lately, so I will make sure to do that, but I have something to say! I am going to Disneyland today!! So here is the plan. Today we are going to leave around 2 and go to Downtown Disney for dinner and check into our hotel and stuff like that. Then we are going to wake up bright and early tomorrow and go to Disneyland and stay 'til midnight, and then on Monday we are going to California Adventure! I am missing school on Monday! I'm so excited! And don't worry, I will make sure to tell you guys all about it when we get back. Love y'all!
So... here's da scoop, alright... *licks KFC off lips* so, I was caught having sex wit three 6 year olds (girls btw, just in case you guys get mad) and da judge told me I was getting da death penalty, you know what I mean?
I had a last resort to save myself though, you feel me? So I told da judge, I said to him, I said: "Yo honah, 6 + 6 + 6 = 18, you smell me?"
Needless to say, I was announced a fre-e-e-e-e-e-e man after dat, you feel me?
But then, the Predator Poachers nigckas just barged into the courtroom and they said: 4 + 4 + 5 = 13!
Alas, I'm writing this joke from jail, and judging by the look my prisonmate Tyrone is giving me, I'll be writing jokes from hell from now on.
A little boy and a little girl were taking a bath.
The little girl looked down and said, "What's that?"
"That's my little red sports car," said the little boy.
The little boy looked down and said, "What's that?"
"That's my little red sports car garage," said the little girl.
A few seconds later, the little girl said, "How about you put your little red sports car in my little red sports car garage?"
"Sure," said the little boy.
The little boy's mother was downstairs and heard this blood curdling scream. She ran upstairs. Once she got there, she saw blood all over the bathtub. "What happened?!" she said.
"Well, Johnny tried to put his little red sports car in my little red sports car garage...but it didn't fit...so I cut the back wheels off..."
When they say beat that pussy, I don’t play so punch it.
What is Mr. Incredible's biggest fan now called? Down Syndrome :)
Of course Jesus wasn't a virgin! He obviously liked being nailed!
How many South Africans does it take to change a lightbulb?
A Brazilian.
None of these jokes are funny.
Were Japanese suicide bombers taught to fly, or was it just a quick crash course?
Do you know the best thing about killing a hooker?
Not only do you get your money back, but the second hour is free.
What is an orphan's least favorite store?
Family Dollar, they just can’t seem to find one.
How do you know the baby's dead? The dog plays with it more.
What did they find in Paul Walker's glovebox?
His head and shoulders.
Man: How tall is a penguin?
Bartender: About three foot, why?
Man: Oh shit, the Bible-bashing nuns! I fucking hit one!
Poor car.
Why was 6 scared of 7? Because 7 was a unregistered six offender.
What do you call a kid with a special sense of humor? Autism, hahaha!
You're so bald, United Airlines has asked for permission to land.