Joke jokes
My wife still misses me...
But her aim is getting better!
What is a bald eagle's favorite chip?
Preagles!
What’s a nun's weapon of choice?
Nun-chucks.
What did one tampon say to the other tampon?
Nothing, they were both stuck up bitches!
Why was the Ethiopian baby crying?
It was having a mid-life crisis.
The Bigfoots had a campfire. One Bigfoot asked what should we roast next. The other replied, "Maybe a penis and a girl."
Why didn't the chicken cross the road?
Social distancing.
Why did the monster 🧟♀️ put the cook in a bowl?
He wanted a chef salad. 🥗😂
Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7, 8, 9!!!
OMG, I had a really good hand joke, but I just couldn't put my finger on it.
"I really hate cats," my friend replied with, "You gotta be kitten me!"
What's worse than 10 babies in a truck?
One baby in 10 trucks.
Boy, look at your hair. It be looking like the McDonald's symbol.
What number is better than 69?
88 'cause you get ate twice.
A man finds out his wife is cheating on him with his best friend, so he hires a hitman to shoot his wife in the head, and his friend in the balls. The hitman charges $100 per bullet. The man agrees.
Later, they set up, and the hitman looks through the scope and says, “I can save you $100!”
1. What do you call a dinosaur that is sleeping?
A dino-snore!
2. What is fast, loud, and crunchy?
A rocket chip!
3. Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert?
Because she was stuffed!
4. What has ears but cannot hear?
A cornfield!
5. What did the left eye say to the right eye?
Between us, something smells!
One day I was walking along the street and I found some caution tape... Just sitting there torn up... Beat up, and you could barely unravel it anymore because I would just burst into shreds... It kinda reminded me of what happened to my sister's killer... They still haven’t found him yet... I’m really good at hide and seek!
What did the terrorist say to the 72 virgins?
"Just so you know, 5 inches is REALLY big!"
Chuck Norris destroys the yo mama!
Why do female parachutists have to wear tampons before they jump?
So they don't whistle on the way down!