Joke jokes
Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because he felt crummy!
A man walking on his roof, carrying an axe. He drops it on someone below him and says, "Sorry, it was an axe-cident!"
What did the computer say to the other computer? “Well, tech-ically we can’t talk.”
Why can't Sally hit herself? Because she has no arms.
Voldemort: Knock, knock.
Harry Potter: Who's there?
Voldemort: You know.
Harry Potter: You know who?
Voldemort: Exactly!
What do you call nitrogen in the day? You call it day-trogen!
I have a joke about death.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side.
Think about it :)
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
Because she was hit by a bus.
Do you want to hear a joke about pizza?
Wait, no. It's too CHEESY!
A man is watching TV and his wife comes down and says, "I just fell down the stairs, did you not hear me?"
Man, "Sorry, I thought it was the start of Eastenders!"
Me: Have you seen a Mr. Weewoo?
Most people: No.
Me: He drives the ambulance downstairs.
Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
Because chickens didn't exist then.
Me: I used to laugh at Skyrim jokes like you, then I took an...
Everyone Else: DON'T...FUCKING...SAY IT.
I told my dad, "I just thought of something funny." He said, "Your face?"
What is the best part about eating cake? Your mom.
My friend: What are you doing?
Me: I'm making holy water.
My friend: How?
Me: I'm boiling the hell out of it.
When the emo kid is about to hang himself in the school bathroom, and the autistic kid starts swinging the rope like Indiana Jones!
What do you call Stephen Hawking on pot?
Pot wheels.
If sex with three people is called a "threesome" and sex with two people is called a "twosome," then I know why people call you handsome!
What do you call a magic owl? Hoo-dini.