Joke jokes
Why do orphans go to church?
They go there to finally call someone "father."
Why did the chicken cross the road to get away from this conversation?
What did the fish say when seeing his best mate?
"I sea him!"
What do you call a cow's facial hair?
A moostache.
What's yellow and can't swim? A bus full of kids.
What is the king’s favorite type of precipitation?
Hail, of course!
What is another king’s favorite type of precipitation?
Reign!
My boyfriend thinks he’s hilarious.
Him: How do you break things?
Me: You break things up.
Him: Okay.
Me: Is everything okay?
Him: We’re a twig. We’re breaking up.
What do turtles use to communicate?
A shellphone!
Q: Why didn't the skeleton laugh at the joke?
A: He broke his funny bone!
What music scares balloons?
Pop music.
Why would the banana scream "ouch?"
Because it is getting peeled.
If I told you Jeremy Palacios was not GAY!
I'd be a liar.
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N. Oh my gosh, I'm peeing on my shoe, no one knows about it yet!
Julius Caesar walks into a bar and orders a Martinus.
The bartender asks, "Don't you mean Martini?"
Julius Caesar says, "No, I only want one."
What did the letter A say to the letter B?
"Z" you later.
I wrote puns on a piece of paper like this:
P. P. P. P. U. U. U. U. N. N. N. N. S. S. S. S.
Then I showed them to my teacher, asking him what they had in common.
“They are all very tearable,” he replied.
Well, there is one person who gets it!
You guys wanna hear a joke?
My LOVE LIFE.
What's the opposite of Christopher Reeve?
Christopher Walken.
Those t.p. jokes are getting shittier by the second.
It is now legal to bully an orphan.
What are they going to do? Tell their parents?
Two WiFi routers got married. The ceremony was OK, but the reception was amazing.
I had a conversation with a Möbius strip.
It was one-sided.