Joke jokes
I gave a blind kid a gun and told him it was a hairdryer.
A Roman walks into a bar and orders a martinus. The bartender says, "Don't you mean a Martini?" The Roman then says, "Look, if I want a double, I'll ask for one."
I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high.
She looked at me surprised.
(P.S. I am not at that age plus I am as straight as a helix ruler.)
A father is talking to his three kids.
Kid 1: Why is my name Rose?
Dad: Because when you were a kid, a rose fell on your head.
Kid 2: Why is my name Lily?
Dad: Because a lily fell on your head when you were a baby.
Kid 3: Auughhghhhggghhh!
Dad: Oh hey, Brick.
How does an octopus laugh? Buble buble.
The past, present, and future walk into a bar.
It gets really tense.
Have you heard about the animal that was made of a human hand?
It's an ARMadillo.
What would you call four Mexicans drowning in a lake?
*Answer: Quatro Cinco*
So my ex invited me to dinner with her new boyfriend.
Her boyfriend said "Hi."
I said, "Knife to meet you!"
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Por que.
Por que who?
"That's all, folks," in the words of Por que Pig.
I would tell a pussy joke, but you would never get it.
I told my sister a Dairy joke.
She said it was cheesy.
A man and a giraffe walk into a bar. The man orders a beer, one for him and one for the giraffe.
After they finish their drinks, the giraffe falls over, and the man gets his stuff and heads for the door.
The bartender says, "Stop! You can't leave that thing lying on the floor!"
The man says, "Mate, that's not a lion, it's a giraffe."
Why did the chicken cross the road?
It doesn't matter, he's dead.
What did the racist CoD player say to yo mama?
132.513.531.332
What do you say to a depressed person?
"I like ya cut, G."
This disabled girl started rolling after me, so I ran to the stairs. 🤣🤣 LOL
A priest sees a man about to commit suicide. The man says, "I have nothing to live for here. I will die, go to Heaven, and get 72 virgins." Then the priest says, "No need for this. I will take you to the local elementary school."
I was at a funeral and told a joke, and my sister said, "I'm dead." So I said, "That's what she said."
I kicked a soccer ball at a kid in a wheelchair and said, "Rocket League!"