Joke jokes
What is the difference between a retard and a zombie anyway?
They’re always hungry and shuffle around aimlessly, moaning... Oh, and it takes a bullet in the forehead to put them both down.
Uh!!!
I'm gay, lol.
What do you call it when you're dead because of that one drink in Panera Bread? Panera dead.
What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato.
Did you hear about the guy whose left side was cut off? He's all right now.
Which is faster, hot or cold?
Hot, because you can catch cold.
Your hairline is running away faster than when your dad went to get milk, and that’s saying something.
What sits at the bottom of the sea and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
What do you call a blonde who's dyed her hair brunette?
Artificial intelligence.
What do 9/10 people enjoy?
Gang rape.
Bitches be like "you're racist." You're right, and I'm gonna win.
What do you get if you cross a loaf of bread with a vagina?
A yeast infection.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get hit by a bus.
I sexually identify as kilometers per second.
Cuz I really wanna km/s (kill myself).
What's brown and in a baby's diaper?
Michael Jackson's hand.
Dark humor is like food:
Not everyone gets it.
Or a kid with cancer, it never gets old.
Wanna see a joke I found? *shows mirror*
Is that a mirror in your pocket?
'Cause I can see myself in your pants.
What's the difference between a joke and two dicks?
Women can't take a joke!
What did the woman say when I told a rape joke?
"I don't get it."