Joke

Joke jokes

Coffin

How do you know someone is going to die?

He can't stop coughing. (coffin)

Pedophile

How do people grade pedophiles?

1st grade to 8th grade.

(I know it's orphan jokes but still)

Pole

My friend said to me that I am gay. My response? I’m as straight as that pole that your mum danced on last night.

Sex

They say during sex you burn off as many calories as running 8 miles. Who the fuck runs 8 miles in 30 seconds?

Kid

When I saw a kid fall with no legs, I said, "Just walk it off!"

Cat

READ THIS OUT LOUD:

This is this cat.

This is is cat.

This is how cat.

This is to cat.

This is keep cat.

This is an cat.

This is idiot cat.

This is a busy cat.

This is for cat.

This is forty cat this is seconds cat.

NOW- go back and read the third word from each line from the start.

Orphan

Why did the orphan cross the road?

Because he was tired of waiting for the milk.

Answer

I always ask gay people what LGBTQ means, but I never get a straight answer.

Lamp

I threw a lamp at an emo kid and told him to lighten the f*ck up.

Post

Not a joke, but this needs saying. Please can someone do something about all the pedo posts on here. It’s honestly just nasty.

Orphan

Guys, stop making funny jokes of orphans. What, their parents are gonna get mad? Oh wait, continue.

Knock

Me: Knock knock.

My Grandma: Who’s there?

Me: Interrupting cow.

My Grandma: Interrupting c-

[Dies from heart attack]