Joke jokes
How do you know someone is going to die?
He can't stop coughing. (coffin)
What’s an emo kid's favorite wood working tool? A chop saw!
What do you call a blind photographer? A waste of money.
What do you call a dwarf skating on ice?
A midget spinner.
Why do orphans like to be robbers in cops and robbers?
So they will be wanted.
My friend said to me that I am gay. My response? I’m as straight as that pole that your mum danced on last night.
*at school*
Nobody: Do you want nuts?
Me: Wait, you have some?
Nobody: Yeah, they're my own.
Me: :0
What do cannibals call a person that is running?
Fast food.
I saw a kid sitting on the curb and I asked him, "Are you an orphan?"
He said, "Yeah, what gave me away?" "You're parents did."
Why does everyone respect midgets and dwarves?
They never look down on anyone.
"Knock, knock."
"Who's there?"
"Who."
"Who who?"
"Why are you who-ing like an owl?"
Cheese, gimme cheese!
(inspired by a friend)
What does a bad friend give a blind kid for his birthday?
Give him a gun and tell him it's a hairdryer.
I robbed a person in a wheelchair. He cried and said: "You can run, but you can't hide." I ran, and I never saw him again.
What do a stool and an emo have in common?
They both sit still.
Are you a building?
Cuz I rate you 9/11.
Why did the orphan cross the road?
Because there was a dad on the other side.
I wish my hair was emo so it would cut itself.
The time is 9:11, time to put your phones on airplane mode.
How do you get a fat kid to lose weight?
You pay the ice cream man to keep driving.