Joke jokes

What is the difference between your new teacher and a train?

Your teacher says, "Spit out your gum," but a train says, "Choo Choo!"

What kind of shoes does a ninja wear? Sneakers.

The other day my computer crashed. Luckily, there were no injuries.

Question: What did the fish say when he ran into the wall?

Answer: Damn!

I'll stop with the horrible puns if you can say a good joke.

What do you get when you cross a belt and a watch?

A waist of time.

I had a joke about pizza, it's just too cheesy.

What did one skeleton say to the other?

Skeleton 1: "I need a hand!"

Skeleton 2: (Throws up hand)

Skeleton 1: "That wasn't very humerus."

Skeleton 2: "Why do you have to be so heartless?"

Skeleton 1: "At least I had the guts to tell you!"

Wanna hear a long joke?

JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOKE!!!!!

Wanna hear a funny joke?

John's life.

What do you call a three-humped camel? Pregnant.

What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh!

How do poets say hello?

Hey, haven’t we metaphor?

Cremation: Your last chance for a smoking hot body.

What is a fat boy's favorite karate move?

A pork chop.

I don't trust stairs. They're always up to something :D

What did Sally get for her birthday? A football!

Only joking; she hasn't opened the box yet.

What did the Ford Mustang say to the crowd of innocent people?

I'D HIT THAT!

I told a cookie a joke the other day.

It just crumbled.

Why didn't the newest Star Wars movie start with the classic scrawl?

Because it was a Rogue One!